Are you okay with your (or your partner's) vajayjay?

[Losty]

Yes, I become angry when my argument is repeatedly straw-manned even after I have explained what I am and am not saying numerous times, and I see the strawman version gaining momentum. Even now, people are claiming I called you a homophobe (and thus a bigot) simply because I said that there may be unexamined elements of homophobia in your thought processes (and mine, and theirs).

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My illustrative analogous example, about the difference between the traditional use of the term "racist" and the actuality of having a culture-shaped thought process that may include some elements of racism, even though the person is not "a racist", was ignored.

The usual time when I have this kind of wall-of-misunderstanding type of argument is when trying to talk about racial bias issues and the culture behind racism, when people will repeatedly say "how dare you call me a racist!!" and assert that I am misusing the term, etc, all as is going on here. It's infuriating, and it's a way of refusing to really look at the issue being raised. Perhaps reading the article "I, Racist" will help to understand why I consider the two issues to be parallel, and why I get so angry at my words being twisted because people are butt-hurt about the suggestion that they might harbor some feelings they have not examined, and which they would expunge from their thought processes if they did examine them.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-metta...70652.html

I never called anyone immature. I never called anyone bigot. I never said that anyone should be ashamed of their sexual tastes, nor that they are bad people for not having a particular taste. And yet this keeps being said as if I said it. None of these things are in any way related to what I said.

If you wish to ignore my suggestions/ideas, fine. But please don't turn them into arguments I did not make, and then use the strawman to attack me, and then suggest that I have some kind of problem when I reacted to that attack.

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But you didn't say that at first. At first you said, "If you are repulsed, rather than simply disinterested, at the thought of sexual activity with a man, then you have some homophobia."

It's so easy to ask people to reevaluate how they feel without saying this. It comes off as accusatory. I'm sure you can understand how someone could react negatively to you saying they have "some homophobia".

Come on, I get your point now and I think MTL illustrated it wonderfully without saying anything that reads as an insult.

A lot of people think they weren't raised to be homophobic but they fail to realize that people aren't raised only by their parents. Subtle messages in media and from our community and peers teach us to be homophobic. People should certainly always reevaluate their thoughts. Over and over and even over again.

You just...if you word things a certain way like starting of by telling a person that they have some homophobia, you can expect people will have a negative reaction to that accusation, whether you meant it to be an accusation or not.