helping my partner overcome Catholic guilt

[feldsparcoyote]

My boyfriend it's an atheist but was raised Catholic and still suffers from Catholic guilt, especially when it comes to bedroom activities. As his partner, i don't know what to say or how to say what i need to to help him overcome such a major psychosis. He knows it's irrational, but still it affects him. I want to be supportive and caring, and i don't ask him to do things he is uncomfortable with, and so far our sex life is incredibly satisfying for both of us (this is by far the best relationship either of us has EVER had). I'm afraid in the future it could become an issue, and am wondering if there is anything i can do as a fellow atheist and his partner to help him get some relief.

[Foxaèr]

If he knows that the guilt is irrational, it appears that he needs to overcome the guilt associated with the oppressive theistic mindset in his own time. Simply be supportive by reassuring him that his assessment of the guilt being irrational is correct.

[Raven]

It's inaccurate to refer to it as a "major psychosis", as that would be losing touch with reality. At one time something such as you are describing would be considered a neurosis, but that term is no longer used by the professional community. As a Recovering Catholic myself I can relate to the heavy guilt trip you get stuck with in a general way. That got pounded into your psyche, and letting go of it is often not the easiest thing for anyone to accomplish. Other than the problems with religiously induced guilt, how is he on a day-to-day basis? Generally upbeat? Kinda depressed? Does either of you feel he could use some therapy?

Please be patient with him. Patience and understanding are something that's in short supply from the RC church, I can tell you. A little patience and understanding, and a willing ear from his lady will go a long way to helping him get over this.

Of course, he could always join the site as well, if he's willing. We'd love to have him. Good luck to you both.

[freedomfromforum]

Just keep layin' on the love like a champ and he'll come through eventually.

[feldsparcoyote]

My mistake on the psychosis thing, and on a day to day basis he's upbeat, positive, and happy. It's difficult for him to express himself when it comes to certain things, but he's rational and always makes an effort to communicate. I'm VERY patient, I'm very much in love with him and we are planning a life together, all i want to do is support him. It has only been an issue when it comes to the bedroom

[Raven]

Glad to hear that he's generally upbeat, positive and happy. Having some difficulty expressing one's self on this or that is a common human trait, if he wants
to get better at it, he can and probably will with some help from yourself. And he's rational and trying to communicate as well. Sounds to me like you've got
a good man in your life. All things considered, I think you two are going to be just fine, and that one issue will eventually become a past item. I wish you both well.

[Zazzy]

My father had to do years of therapy to recover, and he STILL isn't right. But then nuns beat him terribly as a child. I don't know how other people get over it, but I know that my father has never entirely gotten over it. The man sees a nun and gets vomity.

[Psykhronic]

My mistake on the psychosis thing

Yeah I was going to call you out on that (I have psychosis) but you have 'feldspar' in your username so i cannot be upset

In any case, this is one of those things that he has to get used to. If it starts becoming a problem perhaps encourage therapy. It's not easy to get over the prudishness and self-humiliation that comes with religious indoctrination.

[feldsparcoyote]

Thanks all for your input, I'm grateful. I guess I'm specifically wondering what constructive questions to ask to get him to open up more about it, what are things i can say that will encourage him to feel more comfortable with his sexuality and not so guilt ridden? I don't want to demean his upbringing and accidentally insult his family, who are kind loving liberals. He almost has seemed to accept it as a part of his life, but i want him to understand it doesn't have to be. My primary concern is being insulting, since i was raised without ANY religious indoctrination I'm having trouble identifying with it.

[Fruity]

Of course, he could always join the site as well, if he's willing. We'd love to have him. Good luck to you both.

This is true. I was overwhelmed with guilt and depression when I first left my faith, and joining the forums helped. Just knowing other people went through similar situations and were living normal (and better) lives helped a lot.

Good luck, dude!