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Current time: November 8, 2024, 6:01 pm

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What level of dominance/submission do you expect from a romantic partner?
#1
What level of dominance/submission do you expect from a romantic partner?
The question is right there in the title.  

It's not a completely sexually focused question because my confusion in life around the topic isn't really that sexual.

I just wonder about this because I've associated in various ways with women who sometimes expect, what I think of as being, irrationally domineering characteristics and actions.

For example....

I've been out with one woman who told me she liked it when her ex boyfriend ordered the food for her when they went out, ordered what she was going to eat.  I told her I couldn't do that because I have no idea what she would even like, even if I did I imagine what people like changes depending on their mood.  
Regardless of gender roles, dominance/submission or whatever, if someone tried ordering my food for me I can't even explain how annoying that would be.

I can understand a woman wanting a man to choose where to go on a date or picking the seats when you're out watching a movie.  Those things seem reasonable enough to display decision making and control that some women expect a man to have.

When it comes to sex, I don't wait for verbal consent to make any sort of move but I do stop when a girl says no.  That seems reasonable to me, but I have been with women who told me later after I have stopped, after they've said no, that they'd wished I carried on.  Once I've been told that's the game we're playing I'm ok with it, but I'm not going to basically put myself in danger of being accused of rape to satisfy a woman.

I think I like to have a fairly high degree of control in a relationship but I think a fair few women want to be controlled to levels that are just a bit higher than what I see as reasonable.

Obviously everyone is different which is why I'm asking your opinions on this and what your levels of expectations are of a romantic partner in terms of dominance/submission.  And obviously there's different arenas in which dominance and submission play a part, in the bedroom, out for a meal, driving in the car.


Are you ready for the fire? We are firemen. WE ARE FIREMEN! The heat doesn’t bother us. We live in the heat. We train in the heat. It tells us that we’re ready, we’re at home, we’re where we’re supposed to be. Flames don’t intimidate us. What do we do? We control the flame. We control them. We move the flames where we want to. And then we extinguish them.

Impersonation is treason.





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#2
RE: What level of dominance/submission do you expect from a romantic partner?
I've changed. I changed a lot in the last year. I used to like the whole sub/dom thing, even outside of sex (moderately), but after real life things that have happened recently, no. As soon as someone tries to behave dominant, it triggers me and I just want to walk away. I don't want to be controlled, manipulated, or governed. Fuck that.

When it comes to sex... I'm not sure if I still like it (sub/dom) because my life is pretty much sexless right now. As a matter of fact, men in general creep me out when it comes to sex now and I can't stand their smell. I kind of want to be with someone that I can spoil and treat her great. Take her anywhere she wants and feed her whatever she likes. Lol! Cheesy stuff. Heh. Doesn't sound exciting, but I'm aware of real life consequences of being treated like shit, and I don't want to treat anyone like that. Having said that, I don't think all people who dominate treat their partners like shit. I just associate any control with obsession and selfishness and I run from it. Creeps me the hell out.

Maybe it's a phase. I don't know. For now, the ropes can stay in the closet.
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
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#3
RE: What level of dominance/submission do you expect from a romantic partner?
Accept me as your superior and we'll get along just fine.

Smile

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
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#4
RE: What level of dominance/submission do you expect from a romantic partner?
It depends entirely upon the woman I'm with, and how we mesh.

I'll order for my woman if she wants -- after she tells me what she wants on the menu. I'll open the door for her. I can be dominant in bed -- submissiveness I can do but it's not really my nature. I'll do it for her, though.

I like a partnership of equals. I seem to have found it. Smile

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#5
RE: What level of dominance/submission do you expect from a romantic partner?
Ain't got no time for games. Teamwork all the way
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition

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#6
RE: What level of dominance/submission do you expect from a romantic partner?
It puts the lotion on it's skin

or it gets the hose again
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




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#7
RE: What level of dominance/submission do you expect from a romantic partner?
Anywhere from 4.834 to 5.267 in either direction.
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#8
RE: What level of dominance/submission do you expect from a romantic partner?
Not really either. More like open to suggestions and adventures in activities, food, sex,..... all the same. Works both ways.
Being told you're delusional does not necessarily mean you're mental. 
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#9
RE: What level of dominance/submission do you expect from a romantic partner?
Oooooooh damn! Lol I thought this was in A69. It's out in the open forum. Heh heh

(Mama hides)
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
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#10
RE: What level of dominance/submission do you expect from a romantic partner?
[Image: i-dunno-lol_1_.jpg]
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