My unpredictable work schedule permitting, my wife and I have signed up to volunteer at a city shelter/soup kitchen for Thanksgiving and Christmas. My contribution to the war on Christmas will be to politely inform anyone who tries to call me a "good Christian" that I am, in fact, an atheist.
Then I'll have my wife dress up as a nun, and I'll stick my tongue into her until she cries out for God.
Then I'll have my wife dress up as a nun, and I'll stick my tongue into her until she cries out for God.