I think I'll just wish everyone a Happy Holidays. That seems to get them nearly as upset as if I did break into their house and steal their presents. Less effort required on my part.

“Eternity is a terrible thought. I mean, where's it going to end?”
― Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead
― Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead