(December 10, 2015 at 9:56 pm)Thena323 Wrote:(December 10, 2015 at 3:33 pm)mh.brewer Wrote: Please don't try to take her decision making capacity away from her. That's one of the last things elderly prize because it makes them feel independent. That they are in control of their own life.
I'm not saying don't have discussions with her about decisions. Sometimes the elderly don't see the potential negative impacts that some decisions can have, especially the big decisions.
Help her make the best informed decisions that she can. I'm afraid if you take that away it will only cause a resentment.
I'm in agreement with you on that. But, sometimes you have no choice but to take the wheel from them. Especially when they've made a left turn into oncoming traffic.
This actually happened while I was driving with my father several years ago. He'd had a series of minor bumps and scrapes while driving, so we made it a point to try and tag along with him as much as possible when he drove. After he'd made the turn, he still didn't realize why I'd started screaming. I had to take the wheel and steer the car onto the median from the passenger's seat. My family I decided that he could no longer be allowed to drive after that, and he harbored a great deal of resentment for quite some time.
I felt horribly for him, losing his last vestige of independence. It was devastating to him, but nowhere near the devastation and guilt we all would've felt if he'd killed a family with his vehicle because of our inaction.
The decision of when and if to stop driving seems to a point where many adult children find themselves at odds with aging parents who want to maintain their independence.
The motor vehicle department does eye tests on older drivers when what they should be doing are cognitive assessments. Eye sight can be corrected. Dementia cannot.
