(December 12, 2015 at 12:37 am)Judi Lynn Wrote: I've waited until now to comment in this thread because I didn't want to come off as sounding like an asshole or anything where my mother is concerned.
December 23 will be the 20th anniversary of my beloved father's death.
I do not have a relationship with my mother, and haven't for the last five years due to her irrational and inconsiderate decision making and her blatant and wilfull disrespect of the boundaries that I had set up between my ex and myself. Since she wanted to go the route of supporting an abuser and not her own flesh and blood that she gave birth to, I have had to do quite a bit of soul searching in order to maintain that I should not feel guilty for having a No Contact way of dealing with her.
Since my entire family is not one that I care to deal with and since they were so ready to cause tremendous hurt and pain to me, I made the decision to cut them out of my life. They are toxic and I don't need their negativity and abuse in my life. They can all have each other and my ex.
That all being said, back to the topic here. I have one older sibling. She can deal with my mother as she gets older. They did not care that they were destroying me and my children while they paid for my ex legal fees and lied for him on the witness stand. I will not cry when my mother passes away. I will celebrate because my children will no longer be subjected to her lies and her bullshit. If my mother were to ever need any sort of at home care, she can get that from my sister. As it was relayed to me some years ago, I am dead to that family. Funny thing is this too - my sister never had kids. Who does she think is going to care for her when she gets too old to care for herself? It won't be me, that's for sure. I guess she needs to make sure one of her friends kids would be up for the job of kissing her ass.
I rest easy and sleep in peace knowing my former family will not be a burden to me as they age. They did this to themselves and only have each other to blame.
Well like them or not, nobody is saying you personally have to take care of them, but by the time humans get that old they are no physical threat to anyone for the most part, and if family won't take care of them then the state should. It is still better to have them in a building with food and shelter than to dump them on the street where they can be a danger to themselves and others.
I just happen to be lucky to have a good relationship with my mother and she also has a great pension and health insurance. But even with good relationships many people who want to simply cant even when living in a home themselves.
I have cut my older biological brother out of my life, I don't wish him ill will, but he has violated my trust and been too doomsday around me and verbally threatened me. I will not take care of him either when he gets old, and like you he should have our other family to help him, but even without that, I do hope to see a day no matter income that all elderly when they need it can have a roof over their heads. It does not do society any good to have anyone living on the streets.
