Still struggling.

[Socratic Meth Head]

I didn't mean to word myself in that manner. Whenever I say I "Chose" to be atheist. I meant that I saw the evidence and had changed my view on the world. I assumed you didnt mean that all of a sudden I would just say "kk time to go back now". Still, I want to loose faith in the sense that I wanted to remove believing without seeing. To me thats kinda what faith means. I kinda word myself weirdly and I'm sorry about that.

No worries, it was my misunderstanding.

I agree, shedding faith in things with no evidence is always good. Dogmatic belief is harmful.

What I meant by all that (probably could have said it succinctly) is that you have to use that knowledge to break out of your thought cycles.

I've tried being more skeptic. I've always listened to my emotions over logic though. I've been trying to do away with that recently, it's hard. It's like if someone spent their whole life hunched over, and you tried to correct their posture. It's very hard. I've always been raised to believe without question and as I try more and more to do away with that it ends up backfiring on me. I've started reading my old bible. As I read it I feel 2 things. This sounds contradictory, but I feel doubt and certainty at the same time. I feel like I'm certain this isn't real, but I still doubt it. I say "No reason to doubt it. Evolution is so well supported by evidence that it's essentially true." but I can't buy it. I hope when The God Delusion comes in the mail, some doubt will be crushed. Even if a tiny tiny percent is crushed, it's better than nothing.