Still struggling.

[Socratic Meth Head]

I came here a few days ago saying I had converted from Christian to Atheist, but was doubting a lot. I also mentioned I had OCD which may be contributing to the problem.


Heres an update.
1) The doubt is gone, but I still get this nagging feeling. My brain was condition to believe in god, and me trying to condition me otherwise is very difficult.

2) I started listening to the logical side of my brain. My OCD has been less 'triggersome' lately and I feel a lot better. I was able to dismiss thoughts that disturbed me so. Like "god's real, satan has got you". Instead of listening to my emotions, I listened to the logic side of my brain saying "There is no evidence for god. Theres evidence for evolution. Carbon Dating, Fossils, among other things. 2 stories of the bible had been proven false to me (Noahs Ark and Adam and Eve) so the rest will follow."

Still, this nagging feeling. Whenever there is a coincidence, like lately I've been seeing god being mentioned more "gods trying to help you". I would say "It's psychological. gods not 'appearing' more, I'm just noticing it more due to my stuggle." The nagging feeling goes away for a minute and then comes back.

My brain is still using indoctrination. My parents are wondering if I am an atheist, I can tell. I am scared they will convert me. My brother converted to atheism a bit ago and now they converted him back. He now says "I have zero doubt about god.". I now say "I am just as sure that god isn't any more real than fairies and santa."

I can combat my old personal expirence with god though. I was listening to christian music in 7th grade and I got this feeling of motivation and happiness. Now I say "People have a personal relationship with buddha and allah, if you believe in something, you will get motivated by it. Christian songs are designed to be motivational in nature also, with violins and upbeat, high, catchy tunes. I still get that nagging feeling tho.

Wat Do?

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Also, I have always believed in things without much evidence. I always believe first ask later sadly. Now I am trying to do away with that. I have been conditioning myself to ask "Prove it" whenever someone presents something to me. I am very superstitious. I would wear special clothes for football games and wear hats for basketball. And as I said. I have a hard time acknowledging something as a coincidence. I keep feeling as if it were a "wink" from god.

You sound more like a religious person, but that's not required to understand God. There is a difference. I believe in evolution and science but I still understand God exists. Perhaps you have not taken the time to research all that there is to learn. Most here will disagree that there is not a God because they have not found him, or that what there is to suggest the existence is not enough to jusifty a belief, and it's more rational to believe in the material world and nothing more.

Not sure OCD has to do with anything. Can you explain that more?

Have you taken the time to explore near death experiences at all, including the atheists who thought they had it all figured out, only to realize they were in the dark about all thing spiritual?

http://www.near-death.com/religion/atheism.html

Ever heard of Edgar Cayce? Deffinetly an interesting guy to look into, at least for a new perspective on what life is:

http://www.near-death.com/paranormal/edg...ences.html

Well, I was a religious person. I have not found god because I do not see any physical evidence for him. (If you have any besides personal expirences and eyewitness accounts please state them and your sources.).
OCD Is and anxiety disorder, its intrusive thoughts that bring anxiety, discomfort, or doubt that people use compulsions to relieve.
I have taken time to explore near death experiences. There is a chemical called DMT that gets released when we are near death and it can be taken as a recreation drug and people describe it similar to religious or spiritiual things.
Never heard of the guy, I will look further into it.