Still struggling.

[popsthebuilder]

I came here a few days ago saying I had converted from Christian to Atheist, but was doubting a lot. I also mentioned I had OCD which may be contributing to the problem.


Heres an update.
1) The doubt is gone, but I still get this nagging feeling. My brain was condition to believe in god, and me trying to condition me otherwise is very difficult.

2) I started listening to the logical side of my brain. My OCD has been less 'triggersome' lately and I feel a lot better. I was able to dismiss thoughts that disturbed me so. Like "god's real, satan has got you". Instead of listening to my emotions, I listened to the logic side of my brain saying "There is no evidence for god. Theres evidence for evolution. Carbon Dating, Fossils, among other things. 2 stories of the bible had been proven false to me (Noahs Ark and Adam and Eve) so the rest will follow."

Still, this nagging feeling. Whenever there is a coincidence, like lately I've been seeing god being mentioned more "gods trying to help you". I would say "It's psychological. gods not 'appearing' more, I'm just noticing it more due to my stuggle." The nagging feeling goes away for a minute and then comes back.

My brain is still using indoctrination. My parents are wondering if I am an atheist, I can tell. I am scared they will convert me. My brother converted to atheism a bit ago and now they converted him back. He now says "I have zero doubt about god.". I now say "I am just as sure that god isn't any more real than fairies and santa."

I can combat my old personal expirence with god though. I was listening to christian music in 7th grade and I got this feeling of motivation and happiness. Now I say "People have a personal relationship with buddha and allah, if you believe in something, you will get motivated by it. Christian songs are designed to be motivational in nature also, with violins and upbeat, high, catchy tunes. I still get that nagging feeling tho.

Wat Do?

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I came here a few days ago saying I had converted from Christian to Atheist, but was doubting a lot. I also mentioned I had OCD which may be contributing to the problem.


Heres an update.
1) The doubt is gone, but I still get this nagging feeling. My brain was condition to believe in god, and me trying to condition me otherwise is very difficult.

2) I started listening to the logical side of my brain. My OCD has been less 'triggersome' lately and I feel a lot better. I was able to dismiss thoughts that disturbed me so. Like "god's real, satan has got you". Instead of listening to my emotions, I listened to the logic side of my brain saying "There is no evidence for god. Theres evidence for evolution. Carbon Dating, Fossils, among other things. 2 stories of the bible had been proven false to me (Noahs Ark and Adam and Eve) so the rest will follow."

Still, this nagging feeling. Whenever there is a coincidence, like lately I've been seeing god being mentioned more "gods trying to help you". I would say "It's psychological. gods not 'appearing' more, I'm just noticing it more due to my stuggle." The nagging feeling goes away for a minute and then comes back.

My brain is still using indoctrination. My parents are wondering if I am an atheist, I can tell. I am scared they will convert me. My brother converted to atheism a bit ago and now they converted him back. He now says "I have zero doubt about god.". I now say "I am just as sure that god isn't any more real than fairies and santa."

I can combat my old personal expirence with god though. I was listening to christian music in 7th grade and I got this feeling of motivation and happiness. Now I say "People have a personal relationship with buddha and allah, if you believe in something, you will get motivated by it. Christian songs are designed to be motivational in nature also, with violins and upbeat, high, catchy tunes. I still get that nagging feeling tho.

Wat Do?

Also, I have always believed in things without much evidence. I always believe first ask later sadly. Now I am trying to do away with that. I have been conditioning myself to ask "Prove it" whenever someone presents something to me. I am very superstitious. I would wear special clothes for football games and wear hats for basketball. And as I said. I have a hard time acknowledging something as a coincidence. I keep feeling as if it were a "wink" from god.

Hey, hope you're well.

You mentioned these nagging feelings that you can put off but inevitably return. You seem to be relegating the very core signals of the mind in favor of things that are readily observable to others.

You understand what physical pain is, I'm sure. It's I system in place in order for you to maximise your life expectancy and well being. These emotions you're talking about are your conscience. You will find that if you use both active thought and your conscience or the emotions that derive from it, together as a whole, like they are supposed to be, that you will progress through life in the most beneficial way.

People can think and think and think...in circles. What gives meaning to said thought? The level of emotional tie, the amount of weight it puts on you.

I've found that you can ignore pretty much anything. It's just not too productive to do so.

Just remember that the conscience is part of the mind too. It's there for an important reason. Step out of self a little while, and observe your very thoughts without bias, and with honesty. [SMILING FACE WITH SMILING EYES]

I wish you the best.

Oh yeah, there are no coincidences, but that's just an opinion.

Peace

Faith in selfless Unity for Good.