Still struggling.

[KevinM1]

Is it possible for you to "hang out with your friends" but actually find a way to contact your therapist? I'm pretty sure that if you found the number, called it, and said it was important/an emergency, he'd see you and/or would tell your mother that she's not acting in your best interest.

If you've seen the therapist within the last year, I doubt they'd need any extra info like insurance information. That said, a bill would be sent to your home, so it's not like the appointment would be a secret for long.

I get that you don't want to 'destroy the family' or blow things out of proportion, but mental illness is real illness, and denying you treatment may be a crime depending on where you live. You shouldn't be forced to suffer in order to make it easier on everyone else. That's not how civilized society works.

I dunno... you're stuck in a shitty situation all around. If you think you can hang on for the next three or so years, then try to do so, but if things get too tough you may have to take more drastic action for your own sake. The wants of the many don't outweigh the needs of the one.