Still struggling.

[scoobysnack]

With the debates I have had with my mom, she says "You have to seek the truth." under the presumption that the bible is the ultimate truth, I am constantly ganged up on by my family and they call my lack of any faith for a god stupid. My brother, dad, other brother(who is a pantheist and not a christian), and mom always quad team me and I get to speak and then they all 4 just bother me. If I say I do not want to debate I end up getting dragged into it/seen as vulnerable and I get harassed more.

Hey, I'm 48 and I have 5 kiddos of my own!  First off, be a kid!!!  You only live once, and the teenage years will fly-by and be gone before you know it!  And, so, slow down, and try, as difficult as it may, to enjoy life!  Enjoy school, enjoy friends, enjoy TV, games, books, and videos.  As for your atheist views, it's great that you have embraced at least a rationalist POV, but, then again, others will, also, in due time.  That's the direction that the World is moving to (one of increasing secularism), and the World will continue to move in that direction, with or without you.  Even though Mom & Dad are your parents, I would suggest to you that you stop "debating" with them; even as minor, you do have some rights, which various courts have recognized, and no one, even at your age, can compel you to believe and/or profess something that you do not believe in.  Just don't have a little "chip on your shoulder" about it, though, and try to use atheism as some sort of "adolescent rebellion".  Be truthful and forthright with your parents and your therapists, and say, "Hey, I don't believe in this stuff; I think that it is bullshit, and now, can we move on, please?"  It's okay to "agree to disagree" as a teenager with one's parents; as long as school rules and laws are not being broken, then it's your life, buddy, and no one else's!

Have to agree. The teen age years are hard, and although they are all you know, once you have lived another decade you will look back on them as being fairly easy. Once you get out into the real world, have to get a job to pay your rent, and feed yourself, buy a car and have insurance, you will realize wisdom is going through the experiences that made you strong. I feel bad that you are struggling, but it's actually more common than you might think. Everyone goes through the awkward years, but eventually you get older and wiser. For now, just have fun, and make the best of it. Like Jehanne said, it will be over before you know it. Even today I miss sometimes when the most I had to worry about was doing my homework, or doing chores around the house. Sometimes I wish I was a kid again and have my parents pay for everything so I could have the summers off to do whatever I want.

Maybe what you need is something to take you mind off things for a while. Honestly why don't you start learning coding, or programming? There are a lot of online training academies that can teach you how to program, and it's one of the best careers to get into. You being so young, you could learn so much, and be the next Bill Gates or Mark Zuckerburg. I'm getting into it myself, mainly to automate tasks. You will be highly valuable, and amaze your friends and family with what you can do.

https://www.codecademy.com/

Just don't give up on yourself. You have huge potential, and will do great things, but it will take time to get through the hard times. I've been there myself. Already posted this song, but you might need it now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmpU_73CXxU