Still struggling.

[KevinM1]

Do some reading on the history of how the Bible was actually written, and who actually wrote it ( books by, Bart Ehrman, Robert Price, Richard Elliot Friedman). There are some good lectures by these people on ytube, too. 

Most local pastors have not done any actual research or study on the subject.

Then, every time you have to go to church, ask a bunch of tough questions. After a short time, you might be asked not to come back. I personally know several former Christians that have done this.

I have to go with my parents, if that happened then i would just be forced to go to a different church

Then do the same thing there.

Knowledge is power, which is why religion attempts to keep the masses stupid.  Usually, dressing the pig in a new outfit suffices because believers want to believe due to being indoctrinated into it and all of the peer pressures surrounding it.  But religion doesn't really have any answers.  If it did, prayer would have more than a psychosomatic effect in cases of illness and injury.  Prayer certainly hasn't miraculously healed my physical disability, despite how fervently my family prayed after I was born.  What ability I do have is thanks to medical researchers, medical engineers, and a variety of doctors, not some old guy sitting on a cloud somewhere.

And, again, try thinking about religion on the whole.  While Middle Eastern sects were trying to figure their shit out, things were different in the Americas.  They were different in Anglo-Saxon and Germanic Europe.  They were different in Asia.  What makes the Abrahamic religions popular isn't so much their messages, but the might used to spread them.  It seems like Christianity is 'just the way it is' because we're living at the end result of 2000 years or so of conflict (both social and decidingly violent and bloody) to get to this point, and as a result our society has it set as the default.  That doesn't mean it's correct, it's just that, for a variety of reasons, it won out.  

It's like saying that One Direction was the pinnacle of music because they sold a gazillion records and were everywhere for a few years.  Popularity and acceptance has no bearing on quality or correctness.

Hell doesn't exist.  The idea of sin is idiotic (an all-powerful being can be offended/harmed by what we do?  fucking really?).  Eyewitness accounts are incredibly faulty (to the point where people can implant false recollections in others due to how our psychology works: http://arstechnica.com/science/2015/01/p...committed/ which is why police try to get actual forensic evidence), especially when the 'eyewitnesses' are attempting to create and propagate a religion.  Jesus may have existed, but he wasn't magical.  Shit, even the story about the resurrection can't get itself straight in the gospels.

I know I'm kind of ranting (sorry), but indoctrination pisses me off.  I'm happy to see you trying to get out from under it, but it just angers and saddens me to see what effect it has on people.  There's a breathtakingly beautiful existence out there, one that is as amazing in the small (chemistry, quantum physics) as in the large (astronomy), one where life is exceedingly precious because this is the only one we know we have, and a bunch of idiots muck up the work because they believe in the god of ancient sheep fuckers and child rapists, going so far as to war with others over which sheep fucker and child rapist is the best.  You may have the mental illness, but they're the crazy ones.

EDIT: MTL has good advice