Ive lost all trust for my mom

[Aoi Magi]

General, you should keep your head down but not at the cost of your life or self-respect. At home remain as docile as you need to be, but also start building contacts and gather friends so that you can at least get the mental support you need. See if there are any atheist groups near you. You don't need to be an active part of it, but staying in contact with sane rational people can come quite handy given your home situation. And if you can, try to find some part time work and start saving, I have a feeling you'll need it the moment you turn 18