(April 26, 2011 at 10:18 am)IDKWTB Wrote: I don't know what to do.
My wife and I got married one year ago. And in that time, for some reason, I have drifted away from relegion. I was never really "into" christianity, I was just born into a christian home and I fell in love with a christian woman. But I am falling away from the world of relegion more and more every day, and when we go to church, I am usually day dreaming and looking at my watch.
First thing to do is DON'T PANIC (I'm sure I've got a cute little icon somewhere but for the life of me I can't find it right now)
So you have done the society "thing" and gotten married...did you think that this was the end of the story? A relationship NEEDS WORK!!
It is quite frankly irrelevant what religious slant you put on it. So you find the whole "xtian thing" empty and shallow?? Have you spoken to her about your feelings?? Do YOU KNOW your feelings??(April 26, 2011 at 10:18 am)IDKWTB Wrote: It really hit me the other day when my wife and I got in our car after church and she started to cry. She asked me "Why don't you pray with me?"
So she is after "intimacy" and thinks that it is through prayer she can have this...can you not think of other ways that you can be "intimate" with her (
that does not involve sex...yes I know it is a male thing but females don't work that way.) Sorry baby boy but females see the world through their ears. Have you told her "My life is SO much better with you in it" ..well have you spoken the words...have you?(April 26, 2011 at 10:18 am)IDKWTB Wrote: I took her hand, gritted my teeth, and said a prayer.
And that prayer was??
(April 26, 2011 at 10:18 am)IDKWTB Wrote: I'm not sure who was on the other end of that prayer, but she felt better afterward.
You satisfied her "need" for intimacy...there was no 'who'
(April 26, 2011 at 10:18 am)IDKWTB Wrote: That was last week, and since then I've been having severe anxiety about my future with my wife. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid if I tell her that I have no faith, then my marriage is doomed. I'm not sure what I believe anymore.
Do you have 'love' for this woman??
Should the answer be yes then you will "fill her love tank" with words that reassure her that you are THERE for her ...no matter what she wants to do. Should she want to become a buddhist ..you will support that..should she want to become the CEO of General Electric ...you will support THAT... Should she worry about the prayer thingy...say"I thank what ever forces brought you to me every day" shit man do you have NO romantic streak in you??
You will fill the empty moments with a look of love and a touch of her hair and a "Just luv ya"
It would seem that your initial panic is "How do I compete with a deity"... DON'T just be the loving YOU that she fell in love with and wants to spend the rest of her life with. Don't let her change you. You don't the need the "Home Improvement Committee"
I hope these thoughts will be of assistance...cos I had to wait 30 years to find someone who would do the above for me. Stay firm in your beliefs.... no doubt they will change over the decades.
"The Universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements: energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest." G'Kar-B5
