Another way of looking at depression

[abaris]

A depressed person is fighting to keep alive. Part of them wants to live, for whatever reason. In my case, the reasons mostly consist of the effects on those I would leave behind. This has somehow provided me enough motivation not to kill myself over the last 10 years. Part of me wants to keep living, even if it's not actually for my own benefit.

I'm diagnosed with clinical depression also. Took me about a decade to admit I needed professional help. There are many contributing factors for my illness, and I'm well aware of them. It's just I can't do anything about them either.

In my case it's not so much fighting to keep alive but that I simply don't care. So far I didn't contemplate suicide at any point in life, but I simply don't care if I live or die. It's also that I got more and more withdrawn over time. I don't crave the company of others anymore and feel most comfortable if I can lock the door behind me.

In any case, I usually don't talk about it. Most people don't understand the symptoms that sometimes make it near impossible to get up in the morning and to pretend to be human. And what I really can't stand is advice from people who never experienced it themselves. However well intended that may be.