(October 5, 2016 at 7:43 pm)Excited Penguin Wrote: If you love someone despite your differences with them, sounds to me like those things don't really matter anyway.
If you don't, it sounds like a lot of work for nothing. I want a partner who has enough in common with me for it to be worth it, not for me to painstakingly try and find out some common ground on every single issue.
But then again, there's love of course. It tends to make you far more sympathetic and/or accepting (of) to the other's views and tastes than you could even otherwise dream of.
This love talk is dangerous. If you are going into a relationship over the love emotion, you are almost for sure looking at a grim future.
If you have respect, shared interests and goals, at least enough chemistry to get it up once a week-- you're golden.
I've been married 15 years. I don't watch her sleeping and sigh with satisfaction. . . I don't get butterflies in my stomach when I talk to her over coffee. In fact, about 10% of the time I am borderline homicidal because of something she's done or hasn't done (she's probably close to 25%).
But we have a life we care about, and we treat each other well enough, and we sometimes take time to spend time.
