I consider myself lucky. My adoptive mom, while she was sold a script of "do as I say I am in charge" she was not a social religious right winger. She was simply raised with "boys don't cry, buck it up, don't goof in public, listen to adults". But she did let me religiously chose my own path. I went to Catholic church growing up but as I got older she never pushed it on me or freaked out when I stopped attending.
I don't remember the exact moment I told her I no longer believed. I was an adult by then. I do remember her passing my position off as temporary and just a "phase" but she never stopped loving me. Even since I moved down here to help her because of her age in 05, we ended up growing closer together and understanding each other. Even to the point of my mom asking me about my on line debates just to here my points and those I was debating.
My biological brother when I first met him in in person already knew I was an atheist. I was adopted, but prior to me seeking them out my biological family didn't know my position. It was only because a woman I was dating at the time worked for social services for the office that controlled adoption records. I knew my real original last name, but what she did could have gotten her fired. She skipped all the paperwork, looked up my records and gave me their location. It was then I went back to the same office and made the legal request to make a connection.
Our first communications were limited to letters only. The protocol was to insure both sides over time could adjust and that both sides would have the opportunity to call it off if there were too many gaps or differences. If my biological mom had said no to them, I would have backed off. But she welcomed the contact.
Fast forward in time, the letters went through the social service office, then they ok'd phone contact. I eventually called them on the phone. The first in person contact was not my older brother or older sister or younger sister or my biological mother, but my biological grandfather because I also knew my biological family started out locally, even though I could not place where as a kid.
So whom in my family reacted the worst? My older biological brother. The initial phone conversations when we made first contact as adults gave me an indication as to what I would be in for in person. And he lived up to his fundy nature in person when I finally met him in person. Everything to him, every time we met was either a competition or doomsday and I better find God before it was too late.
Our family was broken and our dad growing up couldn't keep up and our mom couldn't afford to keep all of us. My biological mom did the right thing giving me up and also gave up my younger half sister. I think that breakup deeply disturbed my older brother whom after me and my younger sister were given up, blamed himself for that and since overcompensated by wanting to be the glue, the hero who lead. When we finally met, I am sure he had a delusion that he could simply say something and I would follow, and when that didn't happen he got upset. I also had an older brother whom got hit by a car and died trying to cross a busy street. I think that also affected him.
I don't remember the exact moment I told her I no longer believed. I was an adult by then. I do remember her passing my position off as temporary and just a "phase" but she never stopped loving me. Even since I moved down here to help her because of her age in 05, we ended up growing closer together and understanding each other. Even to the point of my mom asking me about my on line debates just to here my points and those I was debating.
My biological brother when I first met him in in person already knew I was an atheist. I was adopted, but prior to me seeking them out my biological family didn't know my position. It was only because a woman I was dating at the time worked for social services for the office that controlled adoption records. I knew my real original last name, but what she did could have gotten her fired. She skipped all the paperwork, looked up my records and gave me their location. It was then I went back to the same office and made the legal request to make a connection.
Our first communications were limited to letters only. The protocol was to insure both sides over time could adjust and that both sides would have the opportunity to call it off if there were too many gaps or differences. If my biological mom had said no to them, I would have backed off. But she welcomed the contact.
Fast forward in time, the letters went through the social service office, then they ok'd phone contact. I eventually called them on the phone. The first in person contact was not my older brother or older sister or younger sister or my biological mother, but my biological grandfather because I also knew my biological family started out locally, even though I could not place where as a kid.
So whom in my family reacted the worst? My older biological brother. The initial phone conversations when we made first contact as adults gave me an indication as to what I would be in for in person. And he lived up to his fundy nature in person when I finally met him in person. Everything to him, every time we met was either a competition or doomsday and I better find God before it was too late.
Our family was broken and our dad growing up couldn't keep up and our mom couldn't afford to keep all of us. My biological mom did the right thing giving me up and also gave up my younger half sister. I think that breakup deeply disturbed my older brother whom after me and my younger sister were given up, blamed himself for that and since overcompensated by wanting to be the glue, the hero who lead. When we finally met, I am sure he had a delusion that he could simply say something and I would follow, and when that didn't happen he got upset. I also had an older brother whom got hit by a car and died trying to cross a busy street. I think that also affected him.
