Ethnographic Research (Help please!)

[drfuzzy]

I think they really, really want to know (beyond the "I am what I am" answer).  But unless they suspect they've been taken I can't see why they'd want to ask an atheist that question.

But stretch, if you'd like to give us your definition that is something I'd really like to know too.  If possible, consider how you'd define a light bulb, or romantic love or the internal combustion machine and be as specific as possible.

This is admittedly a tough one to answer, since most definitions of this kind are found inadequate when examined closely enough. That said, here's my take:

God is the eternal, unchanging, omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent being who existed prior to the cosmos, brought the cosmos into existence, and rules as its undisputed Ruler (cf. Col 1:17). He possesses a will, intellect, and emotions; He transcends all natural conceptions of physical reality yet is also immanent within physical reality. His essence and nature preclude the possibility of understanding Him fully, but He reveals many of His attributes by means of the created universe and His Word.

Existed before the universe.  Created billions upon billions of galaxies.  Our little insignificant solar system formed about 4.571 billion years ago, give or take a millienia or two.  After 4,497,500,000 years, about 2.5 million years ago, a bunch of bipedal primates starting making stone tools, so - this creature thought that it would watch a while?  After another 4,497,490,000 years - about 10 thousand years ago, give or take a few, a little Semitic tribe starting making up stories about their war god.  Did it decide they were talking about it and start taking over their brain processes?  They wrote down tall tales about it and claimed god spoke to them.  
   This brings up hundreds of questions, such as why these "inspired" works include events that clearly never happened, and how the creator of billions of galaxies wouldn't "inspire" those taking his dictation to say what a star actually is.  But my biggest question is always "if this omnipotent, omniscient creature can communicate via fantasy, then why not communicate with ALL humans?  Why wait 2,490,000 years to say hello, and why say hello to a tiny tribe living in an area smaller than Lake Michigan?  If it wanted to be known and worshiped, (another ridiculous attribute) then it would be beyond simple for it to communicate with every primate on the planet.  That would have avoided a LOT of bloodshed, which any omniscient creature would know would happen before it set off the Big Bang.
   
We have thousands of years of history of humans killing each other over which imaginary friend is the coolest, and the most powerful creature in the cosmos, who numbers the hair on our heads and knows our every thought, is incapable of stopping it.  Incapable of saying "stop killing each other".  Incapable of stopping its priests and preachers from raping kids in its own house.  And there is not one shred of evidence for its existence to be found, anywhere.