(March 19, 2018 at 6:44 pm)J a c k Wrote: If she has internalized bad ideas along the way, and knowing me she still generalizes us, I have no intention of demonstrating or proving myself to her. She knows me, my values, my ethics, my character. It’s as if after her reaction, I go out into the world and assume all white people are racist. No white person has to prove to me that they’re not racist. I won’t categorize them as guilty of racism, unless they personally behaved in a racist manner. I expect the same respect in return. If she had met Mexican people that left a bad impression and after knowing me she still hasn’t learned a thing, then that’s too bad. I won’t waste my time making a case for myself. I actually think she felt embarrassed and was hoping nobody heard me. If that’s the case, I won’t waste my time, either.
Yeah, you should probably ignore the bit of advice I gave in my previous post. I kind of regret posting it, really. It is a kind of attitude that I personally have toward people with whom I disagree, but, in all honesty, it hasn't always served me well. Most of the time it leads to me being taken advantage of. I'm kind of a doormat sometimes, and that's nothing I'd wish for you. You are correct to consider ignorant attitudes towards your heritage as a breach of your boundaries (and act accordingly).
Although I made my comments in the spirit of optimism about people's potential to grow and change, it lacked empathy for your side of the experience. You shouldn't put up with a racist mindset; such mindsets are often interpersonally destructive, and it is probably wise for you to keep your distance from this person. There are too many enlightened and accepting people around for you to waste your time with someone who doesn't accept who you are.
