(March 28, 2018 at 8:40 pm)SteelCurtain Wrote: Meeting people is an art. Getting rejected is guaranteed. You'll get used to it---the trick is to realize that it's not really about you.
No, meeting people is messy. It is a crap shoot. And yes, it is about you, in self confidence. I don't mean conceit or arrogance.
If you have self esteem it shows. If all you do is throw yourself at your target you lose. I did that, it doesn't work.
It is about you, in the context in making them feel comfortable. But it is about you in having the self worth that you don't beat yourself up if you get rejected.
I made myself a doormat to BOTH attempting to date, and even just trying to make friends in general.
The "it's not about you" means it isn't a script and your target may not accept your advances. It is about you in the context that if you throw yourself at others trying to please them, all the time, it makes you look desperate.
If you go into any potential meeting, even if it is just to make new friends, simply taking it as it goes, in the moment, you do far better. Sometimes you make a connection, sometimes you don't.
