(March 28, 2018 at 6:09 pm)Hammy Wrote:

(March 28, 2018 at 6:08 pm)mh.brewer Wrote: They could be all girls, they don't have to be.

Asking out a group of people, as opposed to asking out one person, wouldn't that be even more awkward (than just asking out one person)?

Nope. Hey, lets all go get coffee? Anyone want to play cards in between classes or tests? I'm gonna grab a bite to eat, anyone want to join me?

It takes the pressure off one on one communication.

(March 28, 2018 at 6:17 pm)mh.brewer Wrote:

(March 28, 2018 at 6:09 pm)Hammy Wrote: Asking out a group of people, as opposed to asking out one person, wouldn't that be even more awkward (than just asking out one person)?

Nope. Hey, lets all go get coffee? Anyone want to play cards in between classes or tests? I'm gonna grab a bite to eat, anyone want to join me?

It takes the pressure off one on one communication.

Wait? So are you saying I shouldn't go up to a female and say, "I have sex toys and a van with no windows"?

NOW YOU TELL  ME! That would explain all the restraining orders. Now I know how Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory had it with famous scientists. 

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. You'll meet a girl someday who won't be...''busy.''

Meeting people is an art. Getting rejected is guaranteed. You'll get used to it---the trick is to realize that it's not really about you.

(March 28, 2018 at 8:32 pm)*Deidre* Wrote: Nothing ventured, nothing gained. You'll meet a girl someday who won't be...''busy.''

It's not a matter of "venturing" as much as it is not creeping out the one you are considering. Believe me, looking back at it now, I understand why females reacted the way they did. I came on too fast.

It is not about trying or not trying. It really amounts to being yourself. And you are far more likely to make a connection when not looking for it than if you are trying to force a script someone sold you.

I really think MK just needs to rid his body of his hormones, stop worrying about trying to create a romance movie and just live his life for himself. 

It is when you stop caring what others want and stop trying to impress people, that is when others notice you.

My X wife pursued me. I wasn't even looking to date her when I met her. I literally saw her as a mere friend when I first met her. 

I'd say that the "venture" part is only valid when you have no expectations and simply go with the flow.

(March 28, 2018 at 6:44 pm)Brian37 Wrote: Wait? So are you saying I shouldn't go up to a female and say, "I have sex toys and a van with no windows"?

NOW YOU TELL  ME! That would explain all the restraining orders. Now I know how Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory had it with famous scientists. 

I had an acquaintance in college nicknamed Scary Larry. In bars he'd tell girls his name was Dr. O then ask them if they'd like to see his suitcase full O fun. Worked about one out of 50 times. He was very persistent.

(March 28, 2018 at 4:16 pm)MysticKnight Wrote: I liked how she looked true. But I liked her personality as well.

That is great! No need to live up to macho social expectations. A man trusts his heart!

(March 28, 2018 at 8:40 pm)SteelCurtain Wrote: Meeting people is an art. Getting rejected is guaranteed. You'll get used to it---the trick is to realize that it's not really about you.

No, meeting people is messy. It is a crap shoot. And yes, it is about you, in self confidence. I don't mean conceit or arrogance. 

If you have self esteem it shows. If all you do is throw yourself at your target you lose. I did that, it doesn't work. 

It is about you,  in the context in making them feel comfortable. But it is about you in having the self worth that you don't beat yourself up if you get rejected.

I made myself a doormat to BOTH attempting to date, and even just trying to make friends in general. 

The "it's not about you" means it isn't a script and your target may not accept your advances. It is about you in the context that if you throw yourself at others trying to please them, all the time, it makes you look desperate.

If you go into any potential meeting, even if it is just to make new friends, simply taking it as it goes, in the moment, you do far better. Sometimes you make a connection, sometimes you don't.

(March 28, 2018 at 3:51 pm)MysticKnight Wrote: She said no when I asked if she wanted to have coffee sometime after exams........................but in a nice "I'm busy" (even after exams) way.

 I'll be ok...........................I think.......I hope...........

You ever had to deal with a case where the girl in question turned out to be gay? Because I have.

(March 28, 2018 at 8:47 pm)I Brian37 Wrote:

(March 28, 2018 at 8:32 pm)*Deidre* Wrote: Nothing ventured, nothing gained. You'll meet a girl someday who won't be...''busy.''

It's not a matter of "venturing" as much as it is not creeping out the one you are considering. Believe me, looking back at it now, I understand why females reacted the way they did. I came on too fast.

It is not about trying or not trying. It really amounts to being yourself. And you are far more likely to make a connection when not looking for it than if you are trying to force a script someone sold you.

I really think MK just needs to rid his body of his hormones, stop worrying about trying to create a romance movie and just live his life for himself. 

It is when you stop caring what others want and stop trying to impress people, that is when others notice you.

My X wife pursued me. I wasn't even looking to date her when I met her. I literally saw her as a mere friend when I first met her. 

I'd say that the "venture" part is only valid when you have no expectations and simply go with the flow.

I actually believe in friendships turning into more if they’re meant to be. I got married last year and my husband was once “just a friend.” 

Nothing ventured, nothing gained doesn’t necessarily mean that one’s efforts are for nothing if the end result didn’t happen. In every venture, we learn something.