The one sentence story, #1.

[Silver]

"The pope," said Mike as an expression of perplexity crossed his androgynous features.  "Now why would we want to be messing with anything that comes from the human posterior?"

'More to the point,' queried Seamus while adjusting his greeble, 'won't His Holiness wonder why three Martians have Irish names?'

Boru

"I wonder if the pope will be loose or hard," said Mike as though he had not heard Seamus. "Will it smell like roses?"