You can read and listen all you like. I'm glad to hear you're willing to do that. But don't pretend that means you understand African-American culture; you don't and never will. Your painting of African-American people as constant victims is condescending and ACTUALLY racist.
If you're frightened of dying, and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the Earth.