The most awkward conversation ever

[Yonadav]

If you want to believe that the creator of the universe impregnated a middle eastern virgin with his Jesus sperm, that's up to you. I definitely would not describe what you're saying as in any way sensible.
You are basically saying that having a quick look at her minge proved that God got her pregnant? It's laughable Drich.

did you know in 2013 there where almost 50 cases of claimed virgin births in the US? how do you think doctors would verify this condition? is it so hard to believe this same method was known by people who live 2000 years ago? what is so laughable about that?

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What about Jesus' twin brother Thomas (James)? Was he also of God's seed? If he was did he also have superpowers like walking on water and cursing fig trees?

Jesus did not have a twin he had a 1/2 brother. son of Joseph and Marry as Jesus was son ofGod and marry

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Turns out Drich is hopelessly naive on matters of sexuality. Who knew?

how so? I'm the one who suggested that a claim to virgin birth can be checked clinically by having an intact hymen.

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You are completely wrong. It was not a stoning offense. Becoming pregnant is not a stoning offense. You're thinking like a goy. It is only a stoning offense when adulterers are caught in the act, and then both of them are stoned. They have to be caught in the act by two witnesses. If one of the witnesses is the woman's husband, then only the male adulterer is going to be stoned, ironically because the husband is disqualified as a witness against his wife.

oy-vey.. You would normally be correct in a marriage who has been consumated. but here's the thing with this one. According to:https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/adultery/
One thing made clear from this biblical ordeal of the suspected adulteress is that the Torah gives the male partner clear prerogatives by laying the burden of proving innocence on the woman. And, while both the wife and her adulterous lover were subject to capital punishment if guilty, no reverse ordeal was instituted: a wife suspecting her husband of infidelity had no recourse. The standards were not the same and men were allowed to be polygamous.
If Mary and Joey never had sex and she shows up to be pregos.. And joseph demands he has never had sex with his wife, then she is guilty of adultery which is one of the 3 cardinal death penalty laws old sport.
She would have to prove her innocence or that it was indeed his. Which again is why the bible said he wanted to quietly deal with this and move on before the angel of the lord appeared to him.

You can jump up and down and scream about how obviously a pregnancy is proof of illicit sexual relationships all that you want, but Jewish law just doesn't accept that.

kinda does. as two witnesses where not the only forms of verification. https://www.sefaria.org/Numbers.5.11-31?lang=he-en shows a way to invoke the testimony of the lord. (having mary's belly distend) would be an indicator needed. Again especially if husband testifies he has never had sex with his wife.

An unmarried woman absolutely could become pregnant, deny having had sexual relations with anyone, and a Jewish court couldn't have done anything about it.

citation please

In Jewish law there is death at the hands of the court, and there is death from Heaven. When someone commits crimes that can't be punished at the hands of the court, then it is in the hands of Heaven. So when Jews noticed that an unmarried woman is pregnant and she denies having had illicit sexual relations with anyone, they just accepted it. She's either telling the truth or G-d is going to strike her down at some point in the future.

Adultery (sexual intercourse between a married woman and a man other than her husband [the biblical prohibition does not include sex between a married man and an unmarried woman]) is the only sexual offense recorded in the Ten Commandments. It is again recorded in the “Holiness Code” of Leviticus 20. The Book of Genesis (20:9) calls adultery “the great sin” and the Talmud calls adultery ha’averah (the sin par excellence). According to rabbinic tradition, it [along with incest, in the category of gilui arayot] is considered one of the three sins (along with idolatry and murder) that people should avoid even at the pain of death. The gravity of adultery is evident by the fact that the Bible describes the offense as being punishable by the death penalty for both the man and the woman.

Your ideas about justice come much later:
Laws of adultery continued to be developed in talmudic times. The unfaithful wife was dealt with extensively in a talmudic tractate called Sotah (the faithless wife). Before the penalty of death could be administered, the rabbis stated in the Talmud, a number of strict requirements needed to be met, including such necessities as the crime having to have occurred before two valid witnesses and a warning that must be given to the couple concerning the punishment for the crime in very specific terms. The probability of carrying out the death penalty was, therefore, quite remote

There was only one thing that could be done about a married woman committing adultery in the absence of witnesses-- only if the husband couldn't set aside his suspicion. He could demand that she drink the bitter waters. After drinking the bitter waters she would either die horribly or suffer no ill effects at all in accordance with her guilt or innocence. If Joseph had demanded that Mary drink the bitter waters, then that absolutely would have proved her fidelity according to Jewish law. But even then, we would not have accepted the pregnancy as Divine, since we simply don't accept magic as being proof of anything. She would just be a pregnant virgin, and the pregnancy would be viewed as an unexplained mundane matter.

but it would proove she did not have sex with him which was considered adultery which again was a stonning offense. something they practice as witnessed by the the woman caught in adultery and brought before jesus (just prior to them stonning her)

Wow. Way to repeat what I told you without acknowledging the point. Unless two valid witnesses actually saw her committing adultery, then there is no stoning. Joseph could have demanded that Mary drink the bitter waters, in which case she would have either died after drinking if she was guilty, or suffered no ill effects if she were innocent.

I haven't read the NT, so I had to look up the story of your boy judging an adulterous woman. It was hilarious. Yet another NT story that clearly wasn't written by Jews.