Do you wish there's a god?

[Alan V]

I don’t know about your specific emotional reaction, but some truths are aesthetic in nature, moral truths being one such example.

Even the common claim of atheists here, that they desire truth, can only be true, if truth is something ultimately desirable. There has to be something that draws us to it, to provoke us to seek it. Or else you’re just seeking the feeling of truthiness than truth itself

It's not just my emotional reactions which are suspect, but those of all humans due to our habitual tendency to be conditioned by our environments, families, and societies. Such conditioning routinely warps our perceptions of the facts. This has been shown to be true again and again in psychological studies.

Facts have utility. They help us operate effectively in the world they describe. That is what makes difficult, ugly, and even painful truths desirable. Like being diagnosed with cancer, it's better to know some things in a timely manner.