Ok, so I am a dumbass once again.

[Ranjr]

I'm reading your words and can make sense of them individually, but all together, in that order, they make no sense.  Why have a mower?

Because I have neighbors who bought into trimmed lawns. Personally I like "Adam Ruins Everything" in regards to lawn upkeep.  But the truth is in the real world, neighbors don't like inconsistency.

I don't get city people and their lawns.  When I see a man give money to a gym and a lawn service, my eye twitches and I miss my grandparents.

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Maybe you need to be drunk and own a lawn mower. Give it a try and see.

I have a mower.  I doubt I could start it without a cold beer.