Ok, so I am a dumbass once again.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

I don't get city people and their lawns.  When I see a man give money to a gym and a lawn service, my eye twitches and I miss my grandparents.

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I have a mower.  I doubt I could start it without a cold beer.

In all honesty, I have fucked up my mower completely sober and on a couple of beers.

I have never been able to compete in football or basketball or baseball or soccer and no amount of sobriety or drunk state would ever get me to compete.

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Brian - if you are operating dangerous equipment you need to focus.  Your excuse is a valid one but there are still times when you need to make yourself focus for safety reasons.

FFS...you are an accident waiting to happen and you don't seem to care.

You got me, I need live my life in bubble wrap. That is why I focus on poetry and ABBA. It might be annoying as hell, but do you really want me cooking for you instead? I could mow your lawn for free if you want. 

FYI I do care, that is why I don't cook at food joints anymore. But unless you want to mow my lawn for me, I have to take that risk.

The point is that there shouldn’t BE a risk. Operating a riding lawn mower is a relatively simple procedure, one that is easily mastered by 10 year olds. 

Checking your lawn for obstacles before you mow is a no-brainer.

Boru