Your favorite meat approximation?

[Gwaithmir]

Tofu.  I mean if you're going meat substitute, go all the fucking way you pansies.

You ever had pickled pigs feet?

I mailed a jar of that to South Africa a while back, along with a bunch of other USian oddities. Bloke broke them out for an office party and his boss nearly fired him. He counted that as a win.  

I used to by an occasional jar of Roger's Pickled Pig's Feet when I was in college. They were good, but I found them a bit too gristly and there wasn't enough meat on them. I switched to Roger's Pickled Lamb's Tongues and they were my favorite pickled meat until about twenty years ago. Roger's no longer makes them and the local supermarkets don't carry them in other brands.