Is it better to lie to people in church?

[Anymouse]

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So, I was doing my grandfather a favor by helping him set up some stuff for an event at church. We ended up talking to some people there. He usually goes there by himself, so the number 1 thing being said was: "I didn't know you had a grandson!" Eventually it got to the point where someone asked: "Why don't you bring your grandson with you?" His answer was "Well, he goes to church with his mother", which is an outright lie. I don't know if he knows I'm an atheist, but my dad does, and I know he told some other family members at some point (he has a big mouth), plus we have had some loud discussions over the existence of God in the same house (although my grandfather doesn't have the best hearing), so it is possible that he knows. That doesn't change the fact that telling her I went to church with my mother was just a flat out lie. I don't know why that was necessary. "He isn't really into church" would have been enough. I don't know. So is it more polite to just lie to people at church like that, to avoid an awkward situation? Are people (black women) so aloof that they don't realize some people just aren't interested in church, and that pressing the matter just won't work, and is in fact rude?

Also, in this situation, it was a black church.

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In my Wiccan experience, my Christian relatives, when the subject of my own views come up, will offer up either a similar prevarication, or find a way to change the subject.

My own suspicion is that if the relative is associated with a "heathen" (possibly better than being associated with me now as an atheist), that reflects badly on him- or herself. The relative is torn between the "obvious" need to "witness" and possibly anger me (their relation), or anger and be ostracised by their religious group - a choice those who like me in my family are unwilling to make.

Likewise, I will actually go along with it, for the same reasons: I do not wish to make trouble for the relative (not many will talk to me now, though it remains to be seen if giving up Wicca in favour of atheism will improve my relations with my relations, or upset them further).

James. Hit-and-run hammered dulcimer player (that's hammered dulcimer player, not drunk dulcimer player).