[Serious] For former Christians only, why did you leave your faith?

[Neo-Scholastic]

Yeah, while Aquinas may have believed in a temporal beginning he knew that an essential first cause did not exclude an infinite past of pagan belief.

I suppose I should specify, yet again, that when I say "Kalam said" or "Thomas said," what I am arguing is that those people said those things. I am not arguing that what they said is true. 

Before we can argue whether their statements were true, we first have to know what they really said. And that has proven to be a very difficult thing on this forum.

But I have ask Bella if you have ever questioned the premise that only things in act have causal power. I sometimes wonder if there is potency in the abyss.

I very much don't know. I hold all those premises in a state of suspended belief, because I know that they turn out to be surprisingly difficult, and people who know far more about them than I do have good faith disagreements. I enjoy learning about them -- and I try not to misstate them, as others do. 

As for the abyss, and its potential... This of course brings us to Jacob Boehme, whose concept of the Ungrund is usually translated as "Abyss." Have you read him much? He is a fascinating and challenging thinker -- a mystic -- but without him there would be no German Idealism. He certainly thought that the original presence of this Abyss is necessary for the existence of God, so there is some kind of causal power there. 

But I am a beginner on this subject, and still working on all of it. (Currently reading a book on Schelling, who has clearly stolen a great deal from Boehme.)

I only know about Boehme from his engravings. I was always more intereseted in Swedenborg. So I will have to check out JBs texts if you could perhaps recommend a starting point.

Anyway, for quite some time I've been having a very intense Nietzschean experience of feeling like the bottomless pit of nihilistic absurdity is staring back at me in the place where eternal light shines into neverending darkness.