Sexism and Borderline Personality Disorder

[Rev. Rye]

It's also confusing "being emotional" with "having a personality disorder."

Also, there’s more to BPD than just “being emotional.” To be diagnosed with it, you need to fit five of the criteria listed in the DSM-5

Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment (Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behaviour covered in Criterion 5)
A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterised by alternating
between extremes of idealisation and devaluation
Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self
Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g. spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating) (Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behaviour covered in Criterion 5)
Recurrent suicidal behaviour, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behaviour
Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g. intense episodic dysphoria, irritability or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)
Chronic feelings of emptiness
Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g. frequent displays of temper,
constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms

Indeed, it turns out that women seem to be more likely to get it by a factor of not 3 to 1, but about 10%.

Histrionic Personality Disorder is closer to what you’re describing, since it’s diagnosed twice as often in women than men, and has been likened to pathologising femininity (to the point where I can remember reading an article during the Depp-Heard trial which falsely claimed that it’s etymologically related to the old “hysteria” diagnosis.) That said, looking more closely, even that’s less about being emotional and more about said emotions being artificial. I think the clue is in its actual etymology, related to the Latin “Histrio” meaning “actor” (not the Greek “hustera” for “womb”, like some claim.) Worth noting is that the word “histrionic” was first used in 1648, twelve years before women were even allowed on English stages. I suspect that if there’s a reason women are more likely to get this diagnosis, it’s probably because men are less socialized to even be emotional, let alone to use these emotions to seek attention. I suspect that, as it becomes less and less taboo for men to show emotions, that gender gap will close.