Were other European religions better than Christianity?

[The Magic Pudding]

The banquet was given in Cesare's apartments in the Palazzo Apostolico. Fifty prostitutes or courtesans were in attendance for the entertainment of the banquet guests. After the food was eaten, lamp stands holding lighted candles were placed on the floor and chestnuts strewn about. The clothes of the courtesans were auctioned; then the prostitutes and the guests crawled naked among the lamp stands to pick up the chestnuts. Immediately following the spectacle, members of the clergy and other party guests together engaged in sexual activity with the prostitutes.[1] According to Burchard, "prizes were offered--silken doublets, pairs of shoes, hats and other garments--for those men who were most successful with the prostitutes".

According to William Manchester, "Servants kept score of each man's orgasms, for the pope greatly admired virility and measured a man's machismo by his ejaculative capacity."[2] Manchester also refers to the use of sex toys; Burchard, however, makes no reference to this in his account of the banquet.

Ye when I was pope Christianity was as good as any of the old religions, it's not the same now. If the link between church and prostitute hadn't been sullied we wouldn't be having so many problems now.

Isn't it the duty of the church elite to provide a preview of heaven to inspire the hoi polloi? Wouldn't you have more respect for Palpatine if instead of wrinkly cardinals in attendance he had loosely robed beauties whose every movement gave a glimpse of paradise?

I've tried to tell him but the creature refuses to listen. We're finding it hard to recruit new priests, those we do attract are likely to cost us more in legal actions than they'll ever suck out of their parishioners.

I've had other things to do the last couple of centuries, they've been pleading with me to take on the top job, I'd hoped they'd work it out for themselves, hasn't worked out. Ah well it looks like it's going to be the pope hat for me once again.