I had this discussion elsewhere a while ago, and was universally panned! Perhaps bringing it up in early December was poor timing…
Santa Claus, Old Saint Nic, (or Father Christmas as he is called here) – Do we need him, or more accurately, do kids need him?
We have 3 children, two who are 13 and one little boy who was 4 in December, so this really was the first year when the subject of Father Christmas occurred to us again, now that he is in nursery and surrounded by other children who are exposed to it.
With both of the older kids we did the usual, traditional thing and went along with it all – Put out stockings(sacks actually), mince pies and sherry(ok, more like a Krispy Kreme donut and a can of Stella) and the kids got their presents from Father C on Christmas morning.
As they got older we lessened the santa thing and gave them (smaller)sack presents from him, and other presents from us, the parents.
The moment it occurred to me was when our daughter asked for something for Christmas, but we said that we couldn’t afford it… “okay, I’ll just ask Father Christmas then” was her reply.
And I think the main thing that bugs me about it is that it feels almost like a precursor to the whole Christian way of thinking: Be good and you will get presents, be bad and you won’t get any – This is a mode of bribery thinking that I really despise, and I know that parents use this as a weapon to threaten kids into behaving well from about September onwards which again I really don’t like the idea of.
Also when we’re working our arses off to pay for these gifts, but the kids think they just magically produced by elves in the north pole, I feel like it is taking away from the parents to give to a figment of the imagination.
When I suggested this most people were absolutely horrified, saying that we were taking away the magic of childhood… I countered that he has plenty of magic and make believe in his life, but he is aware that it is imaginary(as well as any 4 year old truly knows anything)
It’s telling them that the make believe is actually true that I don’t like, only to pull that rug from under them again in a few years…
So, against popular opinion we decided to forgoe it completely – Never mentioned it and gave him his presents that were from his friends and family. We had a lovely Christmas, free from any religious or North Pole-ious connotations, and all was fine.
But, on two occasions grandparents asked him what father Christmas had brought for him, to which he replied ‘nothing’, and I felt a real pang of guilt.
On reflection we have now decided to partially go along with it next year, purely for traditional reasons and so he doesn’t miss out on things that his friends will do.
We’re going to give him a sack with small presents, just from Father Xmas and that’s it – If he asks about it, I think we’ll tell him that it’s just a special Christmas story that people like at that time of year, just like the nativity, and we want to instead instill in him the real importance of that time of year – That it’s a time for family, one of the only times of the year when everyone is all together, and that this is magical in itself.
So… Are we atheists gone wrong, are we taking it too far? What do you/did you/will you tell your children, and to what degree will you allow myth to be represented as reality?
Santa Claus, Old Saint Nic, (or Father Christmas as he is called here) – Do we need him, or more accurately, do kids need him?
We have 3 children, two who are 13 and one little boy who was 4 in December, so this really was the first year when the subject of Father Christmas occurred to us again, now that he is in nursery and surrounded by other children who are exposed to it.
With both of the older kids we did the usual, traditional thing and went along with it all – Put out stockings(sacks actually), mince pies and sherry(ok, more like a Krispy Kreme donut and a can of Stella) and the kids got their presents from Father C on Christmas morning.
As they got older we lessened the santa thing and gave them (smaller)sack presents from him, and other presents from us, the parents.
The moment it occurred to me was when our daughter asked for something for Christmas, but we said that we couldn’t afford it… “okay, I’ll just ask Father Christmas then” was her reply.
And I think the main thing that bugs me about it is that it feels almost like a precursor to the whole Christian way of thinking: Be good and you will get presents, be bad and you won’t get any – This is a mode of bribery thinking that I really despise, and I know that parents use this as a weapon to threaten kids into behaving well from about September onwards which again I really don’t like the idea of.
Also when we’re working our arses off to pay for these gifts, but the kids think they just magically produced by elves in the north pole, I feel like it is taking away from the parents to give to a figment of the imagination.
When I suggested this most people were absolutely horrified, saying that we were taking away the magic of childhood… I countered that he has plenty of magic and make believe in his life, but he is aware that it is imaginary(as well as any 4 year old truly knows anything)
It’s telling them that the make believe is actually true that I don’t like, only to pull that rug from under them again in a few years…
So, against popular opinion we decided to forgoe it completely – Never mentioned it and gave him his presents that were from his friends and family. We had a lovely Christmas, free from any religious or North Pole-ious connotations, and all was fine.
But, on two occasions grandparents asked him what father Christmas had brought for him, to which he replied ‘nothing’, and I felt a real pang of guilt.
On reflection we have now decided to partially go along with it next year, purely for traditional reasons and so he doesn’t miss out on things that his friends will do.
We’re going to give him a sack with small presents, just from Father Xmas and that’s it – If he asks about it, I think we’ll tell him that it’s just a special Christmas story that people like at that time of year, just like the nativity, and we want to instead instill in him the real importance of that time of year – That it’s a time for family, one of the only times of the year when everyone is all together, and that this is magical in itself.
So… Are we atheists gone wrong, are we taking it too far? What do you/did you/will you tell your children, and to what degree will you allow myth to be represented as reality?
