coming out

[Angrboda]

they may be hurt any way you choose to tell them, but the sooner the better. get it out there and let the healing begin for them, nobody's getting younger. if you make it casual and not a speech, perhaps they at best won't think you're the "rabid" type. lol.

that's one of the dilemmas i'm facing with this. being casual is one thing, but the more i look into it, the more of a "rabid" type i am. i am becoming more and more anti-theist and anti religion every day.

"Walk softly and carry a big stick." Oh, and, read Sun Tzu.


I understand the dilemma to an extent (and not, to the extent that I'm socially inept and not particularly wise in such things). But in a couple ways I wonder about the silence. You're their child, and in some sense, you're denying them the chance to know their real son/daughter — and you're old enough that the roles have changed, to where it's legitimate to ask whether you don't have some duty to parent them and give them a chance to grow. I know I'm being simplistic, but I'm just saying it as it comes. I live my life celibate. Part because I don't feel that need, but part because of mental illness. I'm frequently suicidal, and so even when I think I might want some companionship, I deny myself because of the very real possibility of getting involved with someone, and then leaving them to deal with the emotional trauma of my suicide. This is certainly realistic in one sense, but on the other hand, my Taoist principles encourage me not to try to control situations and other people; to have the respect for other people to let them make their own mistakes. And I have to ask myself whether I'm doing the right thing, by not letting any potential companion make up their own mind about whether they want to take that risk.

I don't know that I have a coherent point here. Maybe it's that being a good son/daughter sometimes means doing the right thing, even at the cause of some emotion and pain, because you and they are deserving of truth. (And yes, I realize this needs to be leavened with appropriate cautions, I'm just trying to get it out in some coherent form.)