coming out

[Angrboda]

does anyone have any tips for me? it will most likely not happen soon, and i know there isn't a "one size fits all" approach to this. i'm just wanting to kick ideas around in my head and plan it strategically to minimize the pain for me and for them. i recently listened to the thinking atheist podcast where seth discussed this topic, and i like the way he did it by writing an email to his family stating his reasoning, and he did it because it made it to where he could get his point across without being interrupted. i've also thought about doing a video and uploading it to Facebook or youtube and sending it to them for the same reason. i am open to discuss it with them, but i know that it won't be a mutually respectful conversation. my wife says i should do it in person, but i really don't know if there could be a happy ending if i did.

I'm not saying I agree or support this approach, I just want to make a suggestion (or two). First, if you choose this approach, you might combine approaches by setting aside time with them, and then reading the letter to them, or showing them the video, and then being there to talk to them about it, answer questions, head off misunderstandings, etc. Also, it _might_ be good for you to bring a friend, other adult or someone whom you know and trust and whom you can depend on being supportive. This may even be a priest or pastor, whom they might respect more, and whom, if you trust them, you might discuss this with before hand (and if you don't trust their pastor, maybe talk to a pastor from a different church; I understand you may mistrust such people, but they probably deal with a lot of these situations from both sides of the fence). The negative is, bringing anyone along with you may be seen as confrontational or disrespectful; that depends on you, the person, and your family; if you don't bring someone with, a second would be to have someone supportive waiting in case you need support after your encounter with your family. I would have to say it's likely unwise to include significant others in this role (as accompanying you), as that can lead to bad things. If you have a sibling, or someone in your extended family who you feel might be supportive and understanding, you might talk to them beforehand.