RE: Let's Start Over, I'm Blackrook and I'm Here to Get Some Answers to Important Questions
October 3, 2012 at 3:22 pm
Creed of Heresy Wrote:Pain is visceral. It is real. It is something that reminds me I am human. It reminds me I am alive.
This is something I struggled with when I started to truly get control over my depression. I hadn't realized how much of my self-identity was rooted in my illnesss, and I hadn't realized that despite all of the pain it caused, my depression made my life an intense, roller-coaster ride that was constantly reminding me of how thrilling life can be. Now I have settled into a very stable life in which that feeling of living on the edge is noticeably absent. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, as I prefer my life the way it is now. It was, however, quite a difficult transtion to go through, and something not really able to be understood without first-hand experience.
When I think about these things I am reminded of some lyrics to some great songs...
"I miss the comfort in being sad." - Kurt Cobain
"I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel." - Trent Reznor
I hope you do find balance and true happiness Creed. My point, however, was that I can completely relate to your point about pain.
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
