How to suppress parts of myself, to blend in.

[Angrboda]

Meh. Authenticity is overrated. I'm whoever I want to be, whenever I want to be it. I'm several different people on the internet, and more people in person (courting diverse groups like psychics on one hand and skeptics on the other, means being too attached to who I am can be profoundly maladaptive and anti-love). A lover I once had remarked in shock and dismay, "She's a different person when she's with other people!" To which my best friend replied, "Well, duh." You want to get away from parts of you, create more gravity in other areas of your identity; become something you aren't now, or more of something you're not already enough of that counter-balances what you want to de-emphasize. With the vagueness of the request, it's hard to be more helpful.

I also tend to fall back a lot on Sun Tzu's maxim that deception is a legitimate tool of war. I'm not averse to phrasing things in terms of selected misinformation to see how stereotyped and assuming my audience is. As a child of four, I developed delusions, including paranoid delusions. I believed people were looking for me, in order to kill me. So I learned to dissemble. To align who I was on the inside with who people would expect me to be, on the outside; that way I could accomplish the goals of the inner, while looking to others like I was a normal outer. I suppose as a result, fluidity of my identity and manipulation of my persona are old hat for me, tricks adopted out of necessity for survival. Maybe another who hasn't been through what I've been through 'couldn't' or 'wouldn't' live this way. I don't know. You tell me.