The big problem i think is hitch that it is almost impossible to give you advice that is of some real value.
A therapist can't solve your problems, if one can help you deal with some issues to some extent i think you should be happy the rest is up to you.
My 1st encounter with a therapist was after a period of drugs and alcohol abuse due to the fact that i couldn't accept i was bi-sexual with a few strange twists so to speak. ( it scared the crap out of me)
The result of that was that i was off drugs and booze but now was dependent on pills to get me through the day and i still didn't accept myself the way i was.
I was living with a gay friend at the time and he kinda introduced me into the amsterdam gay community and helped me to give up prescription drugs and start using weed. ( i never advice that to anyone but it worked for me )
I still consider him my savior and i visit his grave every week ( HIV victim )
After a few yrs of living alone and being quite happy with the way things were i met my current wife.
She was the partner of a xdresser i was sexually involved with at the time and we started talking.
There was this incredible understanding between us and she turned out to be my soulmate.
She was quite unhappy with her partner because he was verbally abusive so after a short while she moved in with me.
Six months later we were married and two months after that i got my 1st epileptic seizure.
They ran some blood tests and found out that also had CLL ( chronic lymphocytic leukemia )
So within 3 moths of marriage a was diagnosed with 2 incurable diseases.
I was so angry, i felt betrayed by my body and the whole shit my wife had to go through
Time for depression number 2 ...
Luckily this time around i had a loving and caring wife to support me and she made me realize that our time together is even more precious than it already was.
I totally forgot what i really wanted to say to you other than we all have ups and downs but please try to accept who/what you are ( usually gets easier when you get older) otherwise you will go down the road of self destruction.
Don't over complicate life, just isn't worth it
A therapist can't solve your problems, if one can help you deal with some issues to some extent i think you should be happy the rest is up to you.
My 1st encounter with a therapist was after a period of drugs and alcohol abuse due to the fact that i couldn't accept i was bi-sexual with a few strange twists so to speak. ( it scared the crap out of me)
The result of that was that i was off drugs and booze but now was dependent on pills to get me through the day and i still didn't accept myself the way i was.
I was living with a gay friend at the time and he kinda introduced me into the amsterdam gay community and helped me to give up prescription drugs and start using weed. ( i never advice that to anyone but it worked for me )
I still consider him my savior and i visit his grave every week ( HIV victim )
After a few yrs of living alone and being quite happy with the way things were i met my current wife.
She was the partner of a xdresser i was sexually involved with at the time and we started talking.
There was this incredible understanding between us and she turned out to be my soulmate.
She was quite unhappy with her partner because he was verbally abusive so after a short while she moved in with me.
Six months later we were married and two months after that i got my 1st epileptic seizure.
They ran some blood tests and found out that also had CLL ( chronic lymphocytic leukemia )
So within 3 moths of marriage a was diagnosed with 2 incurable diseases.
I was so angry, i felt betrayed by my body and the whole shit my wife had to go through
Time for depression number 2 ...
Luckily this time around i had a loving and caring wife to support me and she made me realize that our time together is even more precious than it already was.
I totally forgot what i really wanted to say to you other than we all have ups and downs but please try to accept who/what you are ( usually gets easier when you get older) otherwise you will go down the road of self destruction.
Don't over complicate life, just isn't worth it
"Jesus is like an unpaid babysitter "
R. Gervais
R. Gervais
