RE: Tis the Season of Bull Shit
November 24, 2012 at 9:49 pm
(This post was last modified: November 24, 2012 at 11:13 pm by Cyberman.)
My interest in this bit of our orbit has completely evaporated for the last couple of years, for obvious reasons that are already on record. However, even before then, there were parts that made me embarrassed to be human. For instance, it used to be the case that the BBC would present a series of news 'specials' (a most appropriate word) in the form of newsflashes covering the Ickle Baby Jesus story as if it were happening live. Yes, I just threw up in my mouth as well.
Then there's all the xmas songs in the shops, as Min says. Generally I didn't particularly mind these, particularly the greatest xmas song of all time presented here by everybody's favourite babysitter:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6YbLZf8i...re=related
On the other hand, for every Slade and Wizzard, or even a criminally foot-tappin' In Dulce Jubilo, there was a Johnny Mathis and his "When A Child Is Born", a Boney M's "Mary's Boy Child" or the absolute worst offender, "Stop The Fuck-shitting Cavalry". Now I can't say I've got anything against it as a song. It's got a nice catchy rhythm and a distinctively memorable bounce to it. My gripe against it is quite simple: it's got nothing to do with xmas, yet it's on every shop's xmas playlist - and I do mean every single one. You walk out of one shop as it finishes, and go into another one to have the pleasure of hearing it start again. The song's about war, for crying out loud, an eternal soldier wishing he was at home instead of in the trenches of the Great War right up to Thatcher and Reagans nuclear fap fantasy (it came out in 1980). The only reference to anything xmassy is the line "wish I was at home for xmas", and its later repeat, then some jingle bell nonsense. That, apparently, is what makes it a seasonal favourite. It's like sticking the words "Star Wars" on a biro and selling it as official merchandise; or my favourite that I saw back when this film came out - and I swear I'm not making this up - "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Medium Sliced Loaf".
Then there's all the xmas songs in the shops, as Min says. Generally I didn't particularly mind these, particularly the greatest xmas song of all time presented here by everybody's favourite babysitter:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6YbLZf8i...re=related
On the other hand, for every Slade and Wizzard, or even a criminally foot-tappin' In Dulce Jubilo, there was a Johnny Mathis and his "When A Child Is Born", a Boney M's "Mary's Boy Child" or the absolute worst offender, "Stop The Fuck-shitting Cavalry". Now I can't say I've got anything against it as a song. It's got a nice catchy rhythm and a distinctively memorable bounce to it. My gripe against it is quite simple: it's got nothing to do with xmas, yet it's on every shop's xmas playlist - and I do mean every single one. You walk out of one shop as it finishes, and go into another one to have the pleasure of hearing it start again. The song's about war, for crying out loud, an eternal soldier wishing he was at home instead of in the trenches of the Great War right up to Thatcher and Reagans nuclear fap fantasy (it came out in 1980). The only reference to anything xmassy is the line "wish I was at home for xmas", and its later repeat, then some jingle bell nonsense. That, apparently, is what makes it a seasonal favourite. It's like sticking the words "Star Wars" on a biro and selling it as official merchandise; or my favourite that I saw back when this film came out - and I swear I'm not making this up - "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Medium Sliced Loaf".
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
