Is atheism a liberating and good experience?

[naimless]

Then I realised the universe wasn't actually made for my wishes and it was all bullshit.

Is that what bothers you the most? That it's not all about you?

No, I think I could deal with that if I found someone that had a similar experience to me.

---

It is liberating in the sense that I don't have to worry about living my life in sin, where I'm going after I expire, etc. etc. But it didn't really change any of my habits or my mental state the ways you described. Sound like you're trying too hard to establish a link between how you're turning out and various belief structures.

I've never seen a religious person worried about themselves going to hell. They are all going to heaven in their view - if they sin, they just ask for forgiveness or change the rules a little. It's everyone else who sins that is going to hell.

I'm not trying to establish the link. I've monitored my mental health for a while and I have been baffled as to the changes in it. It's actually incredibly simple for me now to make the link between believing in a higher power and achieving more happiness given that I was on and off with the higher power shit and on and off with my depression and the spread was years with the trend mutually exclusive.