God Loves Me, Too

[thesummerqueen]

Here's some nice anecdotal evidence for you:

Before I got sick and tired of hearing a bunch of bullshit and being swept up into other people's drama, I was friends with many, many people who were 10-15 years older than me. I've since stopped being friends with many of them because it got stressful, but that's a story for another day.

Regardless, most of those people liked to confide in me. I must present a much more pleasant face IRL than I do here, because people are always telling me that they feel incredibly at ease in doing the confiding to me. Or maybe it's because I give it to them straight. Who knows. Anyway, I heard a lot of things. Infidelity. Dark thoughts. Complaints. Shelved dreams. Yada yada.

Festive is right. Money and sex are ridiculously important. Not because people wanted more money, but because they would feel that 1) someone wasn't pulling their weight...2) They were getting badgered about not pulling their weight... 3) The economic fall the US took made a lot of people incredibly frightened financially, which bled into fights in the home... 4) One partner was trying to live by principles the other partner didn't agree with (such as starting a new business rather than working for a well-paying corporation they didn't like). In sex, someone might not be getting as much as they wanted...or the kind that they wanted.

John, I unhid your response and I'll answer you:

You are only partially correct. Communication is key if both partners like the same type of sex in making sure that everyone is happy. But what happens when you're in a relationship like mine where I have darker urges than my boyfriend? If he were any less awesome in all other areas beyond sex (and I promise you, the vanilla sex is pretty bang-smack fuckin' awesome as it is), it's quite possible I'd leave to try and find someone who shared my tendencies towards BDSM.

Communication, as well as other factors, continues to resolve this difference between us...but it's a hefty difference.