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Current time: November 23, 2024, 6:06 am

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Ha! Too True of all the fuckers
#1
Ha! Too True of all the fuckers
http://www.cnn.com/2015/06/14/us/sunday-...index.html


Quote:How passing the plate becomes the 'Sunday morning stickup'


Quote:David Lee had just opened his wallet for two successive offerings at a church one Sunday morning when a pastor walked onto the pulpit to pass on a request.

"You all going to think I'm crazy, but God says give again," the pastor said.

Who ever said "a fool and his money are soon parted" must have been sitting in a fucking church.
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#2
RE: Ha! Too True of all the fuckers
For once, I'm disappointed there are no comments on a news article Tongue
[Image: rySLj1k.png]

If you have any serious concerns, are being harassed, or just need someone to talk to, feel free to contact me via PM
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#3
RE: Ha! Too True of all the fuckers
"You all going to think I'm crazy, but God says give again," the pastor said.

"Crazy!? Heavens no. We've come to expect this of God."
I can't remember where this verse is from, I think it got removed from canon:

"I don't hang around with mostly men because I'm gay. It's because men are better than women. Better trained, better equipped...better. Just better! I'm not gay."

For context, this is the previous verse:

"Hi Jesus" -robvalue
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#4
RE: Ha! Too True of all the fuckers
Quote:The organist then picked up the tempo, and the pastor shouted, "God says run!"

lol

Simon says gimme all your cash and then fuck off
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#5
RE: Ha! Too True of all the fuckers



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#6
RE: Ha! Too True of all the fuckers
Quote:If a pastor or church leader has ever told you that the Bible commands Christians to tithe or give 10% of their income; hit you up for multiple offerings during one service; made you march up front to give; asked you to donate to a mysterious "building fund" or give a "first-fruit" offering; or even given special recognition to big givers in your congregation, Lee and other pastors have a message for you:

You are getting played

There is nothing in the New Testament about giving ten percent. 

When we became members of our church in Iowa, the pastor came to our house and said that god wanted everyone to give ten percent of their income BEFORE taxes.  He said he wouldn't badger anyone but he brought speakers to the church who discussed how god had blessed them because of their tithe. One woman said that her father gave even when his children needed clothing and one day someone just gave them a bag of used shoes. I couldn't help but wonder why they couldn't have taken that money and bought their own shoes instead of waiting for god to go through a middleman.
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#7
RE: Ha! Too True of all the fuckers
No, we don't "think" you're crazy.
Morally corrupt maybe. A thief maybe. Taking advantage of the gullible maybe.
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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#8
RE: Ha! Too True of all the fuckers
Quote:Consider the "will a man rob God" from the third chapter in Malachi. The prophet declares that withholding tithes and offerings invites divine punishment because the stingy person is robbing God.
But Jacques, editor of PimpPreacher.com, says Malachi declared that God was angry at Israel's priests, not ordinary people, for withholding offerings. The real thieves were greedy priests, but pastors have turned the scripture into a blanket condemnation of people who don't give enough, he says.
"Unless they read the whole chapter, they won't know," Jacques says.


The problem is that Christians often don't have any idea what their bible teaches because many don't read it.
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#9
RE: Ha! Too True of all the fuckers
"Can god come here and make the request in person?"

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
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#10
RE: Ha! Too True of all the fuckers
There is an old joke about giving all of one's money to God.  When one is paid, one simply throws all of the money up in the air.  Whatever God keeps, is God's, and whatever he returns, one gets to keep.

Some of the idiots attending churches of greedy preachers should remember this and practice it.  Do they seriously believe that their omnipotent God is incapable of collecting whatever he wants, and requires a middleman to get it from them?

"A wise man ... proportions his belief to the evidence."
— David Hume, An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding, Section X, Part I.
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