If you were to make a book claiming to be revealed by God, how would you start?

[paulpablo]

Chapter 1, You think you're cooler than me?

Hi, humans, it's me God.
Listen up yo.
If you don't believe in me, I'm cool with that, just be cool with each other, so that you ascend towards my coolness.
Don't go around being intolerant and all and being good is totally cool.
Don't go around hating others who don't believe in this message.
Be compassionate, be caring, be kind...but if you're not, try to forgive yourself and try at least a little to be like that, because I forgive you cause I'm awesome like that.
Don't go disrespecting yourself, hold up your head high, and if you can't, do what you got to do, to earn your pride.
How?
Listen to the beat, the rhythm of the heart.
Peace out, I'll tell you more later.

This is an amazing post to start because I was going to start one just like this ages ago but I forgot.

Ok well I would obviously copy of Muhammad and Joseph Smith, 2 extremely talented people at developing cults. I would base the new religion on the old ones but do it in a very vague way so it can never really be proven right or wrong. I would put in the book numerological coincidences which relate to science and stuff, if they are right they will be seen as miraculous, if proven wrong it wont matter anyway because I will be vague about if there even is numerological coincidences in the book. I would allude to the fact that evolution is true, but in a very vague way also just incase at some point in the distant future evolution is proven wrong. I would write it very poetically so if it is ever proven wrong or with errors people can just say its poetic and not meant to be literal. I would have to put threats down in the book and also make rules so that people who convert out of my religion face a lot of fear.