Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: December 23, 2024, 3:55 am
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
What Would You Do If God Was Real? Scatolian Version

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
What Would You Do If God Was Real? Scatolian Version
chimp3 Offline Donators
Chimp Magnet
*****
Religious Views: NoReligion2
Posts: 5664
Threads: 219
Joined: June 20, 2016
Reputation: 61
#1
What Would You Do If God Was Real? Scatolian Version
October 5, 2017 at 10:34 pm
What would you do if you found out God was real? When you you met him he made funny jokes about poop?
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!






Find
Reply
Fireball Offline
Refractory Member
****
Religious Views: Nullifidian
Posts: 9921
Threads: 21
Joined: September 8, 2015
Reputation: 79
#2
RE: What Would You Do If God Was Real? Scatolian Version
October 5, 2017 at 11:53 pm
I'm pretty sure that if a "god" existed, it wouldn't be anything like mankind has projected...which would be a really good thing.
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
Find
Reply
c172 Offline
Uppity.
*****
Religious Views: atheist
Posts: 10470
Threads: 165
Joined: May 29, 2013
Reputation: 53
#3
RE: What Would You Do If God Was Real? Scatolian Version
October 6, 2017 at 12:04 am
As I like to say, sometimes to myself like many things, we could all be plastic pellets and God be a Hungry Hungry Hippo trying to eat us.
"For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." - Carl Sagan
Find
Reply
Whateverist Away Donators
Known religious sympathizer/accomodationist
*****
Religious Views: Be civil or die!
Posts: 23918
Threads: 300
Joined: June 25, 2011
Reputation: 151
#4
RE: What Would You Do If God Was Real? Scatolian Version
October 6, 2017 at 12:14 am
If god was real I'd still have to decide what mattered each day just the same way I do now. Nothing changes.
Find
Reply
The Grand Nudger Offline
Retired Staff
*****
Religious Views: Invasive
Posts: 67288
Threads: 140
Joined: June 28, 2011
Reputation: 162
#5
RE: What Would You Do If God Was Real? Scatolian Version
October 6, 2017 at 12:17 am
The same things I did before I found out.  Not much different than a story about a new species of spider, ultimately.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Find
Reply
vorlon13 Offline
Posting Freak
*****
Religious Views: agnostic 12 stepper
Posts: 30129
Threads: 304
Joined: April 18, 2014
Reputation: 92
#6
RE: What Would You Do If God Was Real? Scatolian Version
October 6, 2017 at 12:28 am
what if God is really hot and hunky and wants to pleasure me orally ?
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




Find
Reply
ignoramus Offline
wiggle wiggle
*****
Religious Views: n/a
Posts: 20476
Threads: 447
Joined: June 16, 2014
Reputation: 111
#7
RE: What Would You Do If God Was Real? Scatolian Version
October 6, 2017 at 6:09 am
Then he wouldn't be god.
He'd be just a perverted hairy alien...
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Find
Reply
Gawdzilla Sama Offline
Banana Hammer
*****
Religious Views: Rational
Posts: 19881
Threads: 324
Joined: July 31, 2016
Reputation: 34
#8
RE: What Would You Do If God Was Real? Scatolian Version
October 6, 2017 at 6:34 am
(October 5, 2017 at 11:53 pm)Fireball Wrote: I'm pretty sure that if a "god" existed, it wouldn't be anything like mankind has projected...which would be a really good thing.

What? You wouldn't love a god created by a bunch of goat-herders from better stories told by other peoples?
Find
Reply
Aoi Magi Offline
The coolest magi in existence
****
Religious Views: not sure
Posts: 6859
Threads: 50
Joined: September 14, 2014
Reputation: 44
#9
RE: What Would You Do If God Was Real? Scatolian Version
October 6, 2017 at 7:08 am
If I knew conclusively a god exists, then that'd mean I'll believe a god exists, other than that I don't see much changing in my life. Well, if he loves poop, I guess I will try to set him up with CL and then grab my camera Tongue
Quote:To know yet to think that one does not know is best; Not to know yet to think that one knows will lead to difficulty.
- Lau Tzu

Join me on atheistforums Slack Cool Shades (pester tibs via pm if you need invite) Tongue

Find
Reply
brewer Offline Donators
Emotionally exhausted/Morally bankrupt
*****
Religious Views: atheist
Posts: 28419
Threads: 524
Joined: June 16, 2015
Reputation: 90
#10
RE: What Would You Do If God Was Real? Scatolian Version
October 6, 2017 at 7:38 am
I think I'd ask him if he could take a shit so ginormous that even he couldn't flush it. And if he could, just where does supernatural shit end up.
Being told you're delusional does not necessarily mean you're mental. 
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
What Would You Do If God Was Real? Scatolian Version

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Ask your questions to hacked version of ChatGTP through me. purplepurpose 0 916 February 17, 2023 at 1:44 pm
Last Post: purplepurpose
  You are a specialty burglar, what would you do? arewethereyet 44 4901 November 13, 2021 at 3:16 pm
Last Post: Fake Messiah
  If you were alone on the planet, what would you do? Fake Messiah 59 6362 May 15, 2020 at 10:50 am
Last Post: AniKoferBo
  What Would You Like Named After You? BrianSoddingBoru4 24 2428 March 18, 2020 at 3:52 pm
Last Post: Abaddon_ire
  which version of virginity is correct? Gawdzilla Sama 21 3390 March 15, 2020 at 8:20 am
Last Post: The Valkyrie
  What would you do if you ran out of beer/booze? Brian37 63 14214 October 23, 2017 at 10:11 am
Last Post: Gawdzilla Sama
  Stronger Than You (atheist version) Der/die AtheistIn 3 1093 August 3, 2017 at 9:00 am
Last Post: Astonished
  God is real! Jehanne 5 922 August 22, 2016 at 6:34 am
Last Post: ignoramus
  God would be like... Torin 7 1295 August 13, 2016 at 1:15 am
Last Post: robvalue
  Japanese version of the Macarena. Brian37 0 537 January 3, 2016 at 12:29 pm
Last Post: Brian37



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)