First off, if drunken, 5am tirades are common, perhaps less drunkenness is in order. My dad was fond of drunken tirades, lets just say that wasn't fun.
If your wife is basically an atheist in practice, why push her to accept a label? Maybe she just doesn't want to be labeled... I can understand that.
You say your father-in-law has gone off the deep end into conservative-land, but you don't say what your wife's thoughts on this are... If you express concern that he's going to pressure your kids, guilt-trip them, in some way manipulate them, or otherwise maltreat them, is she going to disagree that it's a possibility? Does she disagree that the kids should be protected from this kind of behavior? If so, that's the problem, not her refusing to accept a label. Or maybe, she views her father's values as something to be endured or tolerated, rather than refuted.
I'll note that no adult has more influence on a child than a parent. Example: My mom likes to spoil my kids by buying them extravagant gifts. I can't change that, but I can steer them in a different direction by showing them what charity is and how fortunate they are. The kids help with donating their old toys. We give them many explanations of how a lot of people don't have what they do, and how that's not the kids' or even necessarily their parents fault. We engage them, explain things, and ask for their thoughts on issues, when they ask about our discussions of current events. In short, we try to give them a larger worldview, and it is working.
If your wife is basically an atheist in practice, why push her to accept a label? Maybe she just doesn't want to be labeled... I can understand that.
You say your father-in-law has gone off the deep end into conservative-land, but you don't say what your wife's thoughts on this are... If you express concern that he's going to pressure your kids, guilt-trip them, in some way manipulate them, or otherwise maltreat them, is she going to disagree that it's a possibility? Does she disagree that the kids should be protected from this kind of behavior? If so, that's the problem, not her refusing to accept a label. Or maybe, she views her father's values as something to be endured or tolerated, rather than refuted.
I'll note that no adult has more influence on a child than a parent. Example: My mom likes to spoil my kids by buying them extravagant gifts. I can't change that, but I can steer them in a different direction by showing them what charity is and how fortunate they are. The kids help with donating their old toys. We give them many explanations of how a lot of people don't have what they do, and how that's not the kids' or even necessarily their parents fault. We engage them, explain things, and ask for their thoughts on issues, when they ask about our discussions of current events. In short, we try to give them a larger worldview, and it is working.
