New Members Needed
June 12, 2013 at 11:15 am
(This post was last modified: June 12, 2013 at 11:18 am by Rahul.)
Hey Guys, you should all come join Christianity. It's a really cool religion. Whoops, I meant it's like this old cult thing from the middle east that originated back a couple thousand years ago by a sect of jews. Back then they were like the smartest people around because they could read and write and shit.
It's all about...um...wait. It's like there's god, right? And he's all pissed off at us because we don't do what he wants us to do. Like fornicating or drinking light beer. We follow our god given impulses and commit sins and stuff.
Cause being good means ignoring our natural urges that god gave us. I mean he created everything. All those 100 billion galaxies with like a billion stars each. But if you take his name in vain, whoo boy, that really pisses him off. That's some serious shit.
God don't play.
Of course, most people don't really understand what god is all about. He isn't some big meany that invented hell just for torturing your ass for eternity if you jerk off in the bathroom. He's a loving god and he was worshipped by just about everyone back in the days before we had all this nerdy science shit telling lies. Right here in Genesis it says, whoa, sorry, I was just reading a few verses. Jesus, who the fuck wrote this shit?
Oh yeah, there's some old guy that said something cool last Sunday about everything being forgiven. Isn't that great? I didn't even realize I needed to be forgiven before I heard about this stuff. That's the kind of attitude we need today, when everyone spends all their free time getting involved in flame wars on forums and going to Bieber concerts.
You just got to stay away from those evolutionists that hate god and want to destroy everything. I think they make up all this shit about us being related to monkeys because they got busted screwing a gibbon after closing hours at their local zoo. I mean, ok, we got over the whole earth revolving around the sun thing, but that's just one step too far.
Kay. Thanks. Bye.
It's all about...um...wait. It's like there's god, right? And he's all pissed off at us because we don't do what he wants us to do. Like fornicating or drinking light beer. We follow our god given impulses and commit sins and stuff.
Cause being good means ignoring our natural urges that god gave us. I mean he created everything. All those 100 billion galaxies with like a billion stars each. But if you take his name in vain, whoo boy, that really pisses him off. That's some serious shit.
God don't play.
Of course, most people don't really understand what god is all about. He isn't some big meany that invented hell just for torturing your ass for eternity if you jerk off in the bathroom. He's a loving god and he was worshipped by just about everyone back in the days before we had all this nerdy science shit telling lies. Right here in Genesis it says, whoa, sorry, I was just reading a few verses. Jesus, who the fuck wrote this shit?
Oh yeah, there's some old guy that said something cool last Sunday about everything being forgiven. Isn't that great? I didn't even realize I needed to be forgiven before I heard about this stuff. That's the kind of attitude we need today, when everyone spends all their free time getting involved in flame wars on forums and going to Bieber concerts.
You just got to stay away from those evolutionists that hate god and want to destroy everything. I think they make up all this shit about us being related to monkeys because they got busted screwing a gibbon after closing hours at their local zoo. I mean, ok, we got over the whole earth revolving around the sun thing, but that's just one step too far.
Kay. Thanks. Bye.
