(July 1, 2013 at 7:44 pm)elizabeth_the_skeptic Wrote: I am 19 years old, a college student, and I am an Atheist living in a Christian family. They all know, and they are all livid about it. My mom isn't terrible, but my father makes me go to church twice a week, once to talk to this man from church who is a professor at a Christian university. He is constantly trying to engage me in debates so that he can re-convert me, though he keeps failing miserably. I am currently in Texas for a week with my uncle, who I have learned was told by my father to talk to me about all of this. They are all absolutely abusive to me, laughing at me, calling me names, and degrading me. I have been looking for a job for months, but so far to no avail, and as I have no friends with an open room, for now I have to stay at my house. I'm absolutely miserable, and I'm at my wit's end. I don't know what else to say to them, because no argument, no matter how valid, will keep them from laughing at me, and they insist upon talking about this 3 times a day. Can anyone help me?
Ok. Damage control time.
First off, and I'm sure you realize this, you should never have openly outted yourself to your family at this point in your life. At most you should have referred to yourself as agnostic. The average christian, when they hear agnostic, think of what is in reality an agnostic atheist. When they hear atheist, they think of a fire breathing strong, in your face atheist.
I grew up in Texas to devout Southern Baptists, but I didn't stop believing until I was well out of the house. Yet even today I have never really broached the subject, even though my parents realize I don't have anything to do with religion any longer. There's no point in sticking your foot in the ant hill. It's not going to do anything but cause trouble.
This is what, in my opinion, you need to do.
First, stop arguing. Completely. Stop it. Not one more argument against anything. Don't defend your beliefs, don't mention your beliefs, just stop.
What you want to come off as, is silently contemplative. If they ridicule you, just quietly look at them like you are listening to them telling a fishing story and appear like you are quietly thinking. If they really try to get you to react just tell them that there are a lot of things going on in your head that you are trying to figure out and you need some time to figure those things out. If they keep pushing you, at most, say, "Look, I'm only 19! I still have a lot of things to learn."
This should automatically make your parents think, "Well yeah, she is young. Maybe this is just a phase."
Two, allow them to catch you reading parts of the bible around the house. Now you're probably think, "Fuck, I've got to read the bible? Shit!" Actually, it's good to know more of the bible simply so you know the crap you're going to have to put up with in our society. I keep an online version of the King James Bible on my computer that I use for reference all the time. Since you will be reading the bible you might as well read things that will be useful. For your particular situation I would read about "The Wayward Son" Luke Chapter 15 Verses 11-32.
Quote:This story represents the attitude of our Father God toward us as His children. When we fail to fulfill the duties that God expects of us He does not disown us as children. God loves us dearly, and the sacrifice of Jesus in our behalf allows us to enjoy complete forgiveness by God when we ask for forgiveness.
This would be something you could ask your parents about if they start needling you. When you ask, act like you value their insight into this story and what you should know about it. Act like you are honestly inquisitive and would really like to hear what they think. This should be an eye opener for how they are treating you. Don't say anything other than to ask respectful questions. Then depart with a thoughtful look.
Another good thing to read just for your own personal knowledge would be the book of Job. Holy crap that's a fucked up story about how god treats his followers. Short book. But a good one for an atheist to know.
Remember don't react to their insults. Just be quietly contemplative. The only time you should mention anything about religion around them is to act what comes off as honestly curious questions. Like you are putting forth a real effort to learn more about the bible.
I feel for you. Sorry you're in this situation. Remember, this isn't going to last forever.
Everything I needed to know about life I learned on Dagobah.
