In my career working in courtrooms, I was fortunate to never work for a judge who regularly did Domestic Relations calendars. But there was no way to dodge doing them entirely. Occasionally I subbed in a DR courtroom with a judge who really knew her stuff on the subject. She had a stock lecture for parents who were fighting over their children: Don't. Fight over the house, the money, the pets and the plants, but don't fight over your kids. Learn to co-parent, whatever it takes, and don't use your children as weapons in your messy divorce. Kids are smart; they will figure it out. And when they do, it the bad parent(s) who put them in the middle will pay the price -- possibly for the rest of their lives. I did see that borne out again and again.
My parents divorced when I was 9. They had split and gotten back together a few times. When they split for good, I and my siblings cried. With RELIEF. Two more ill-matched persons there never were. Their fights were protracted and violent. We were so relieved and happy when they finally threw in the towel once and for all. My father went on to marry a wonderful woman who was 16 years his junior. Everyone said it wouldn't last. They will celebrate their 44th wedding anniversary in 2014, and I got the best stepmother in the world. I was so glad to have their wonderful, successful marriage as an example in my own life.
I agree with all others here who have weighed in on the subject: Staying together "for the sake of the children" sucks the big green weenie.
My parents divorced when I was 9. They had split and gotten back together a few times. When they split for good, I and my siblings cried. With RELIEF. Two more ill-matched persons there never were. Their fights were protracted and violent. We were so relieved and happy when they finally threw in the towel once and for all. My father went on to marry a wonderful woman who was 16 years his junior. Everyone said it wouldn't last. They will celebrate their 44th wedding anniversary in 2014, and I got the best stepmother in the world. I was so glad to have their wonderful, successful marriage as an example in my own life.
I agree with all others here who have weighed in on the subject: Staying together "for the sake of the children" sucks the big green weenie.
