When I was a child I experienced trauma. My mind blocked the memory, but not the pain. I prayed and begged for the god to help my heart feel better. I begged that I could lose fear and nightmares. When I was 18 I experienced trauma again, only worse and more humiliating. I cried with every ounce of energy I had left as I crawled into my home hoping my weak mother wouldn't find me. I reminded the god that he wasn't supposed to test us more than what we could take... But I felt alone. My faith was threatened.
Then I began to feel guilty for questioning the god. I thought... This is Satan's plan to make me stray. If I can overcome this, I will grow stronger than ever. If I remain faithful, certainly the god will notice. All of a sudden I felt like I was this powerful being that could win any war against the devil and that nothing could take me down. A horrible experience turned into a test that I had passed for a god who had chosen me for great things and knew I could handle anything. I was special. No fucking shit. I spent a major part of the following years serving the church in all gratitude.
Lucky for me 5 years later I went back to college and started using my brain.
Then I began to feel guilty for questioning the god. I thought... This is Satan's plan to make me stray. If I can overcome this, I will grow stronger than ever. If I remain faithful, certainly the god will notice. All of a sudden I felt like I was this powerful being that could win any war against the devil and that nothing could take me down. A horrible experience turned into a test that I had passed for a god who had chosen me for great things and knew I could handle anything. I was special. No fucking shit. I spent a major part of the following years serving the church in all gratitude.
Lucky for me 5 years later I went back to college and started using my brain.
Pointing around: "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you, I'm out!"
Half Baked
"Let the atheists come to me, and stop keeping them away, because the kingdom of heathens belongs to people like these." -Saint Bacon
Half Baked
"Let the atheists come to me, and stop keeping them away, because the kingdom of heathens belongs to people like these." -Saint Bacon
